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Since throwing out the big "d" word is how he typiy deals with is anger (literally, he threatens this at least every month or two and then goes and sleeps in the guest room to prove his point), I assume that he's bluffing. But who knows? Ideally I want our relationship to work, and I am willing to do whatever it takes. However, I am beginning to recognize the role that I am playing in this stupid cycle, and I'm not going to play into the manipulation and threats anymore. I really wish we could just sell this place and start over in more neutral territory. But since we live next door to his parents, brother, aunt/uncle/cousins, and grandmother, they would certainly NOT be happy if we let strangers move onto THEIR land. Building a home here was stupid. Our relationship was precarious from the beginning, and the decision to live here has made it nearly impossible to remedy. Sigh. And yes, I have posted this on the DIFO and legal forum. Sorry for being redundant. discrete naughty girlbut I just want you all to understand what I've been going through over the last several years, and why it's so frustrating for me. I just recently began opening up about this as I am getting my memories back, and am realizing that it's really nothing to be ashamed of. The more I share this with, the more I people understand that epilepsy is a condition, not a disease, and that it effects people in different ways. I've gotten a lot of support from those on this forum, and I really appreciate and you for it. I just want you to know a bit more about me, and what I face everyday. The following is a copy of what I wrote to a friend of mine who was asking about it. First of all, I was adopted when I was. I was born up in, and my mother was a "hippie of the sixties" and heavily into and not taking care of herself, let alone a. I'd be at the neighbors house in the evenings, playing with my friend, when I was asked, "It's getting late, shouldn't you be going home? Your mother might be worried." My reply was 'My mom's not even home!" So, a couple who had just gotten married and was going to move to Hawaii, spoke to my mother offering me a better life, and they scooped me up and adopted me. I kept in touch with my family on this side, with occasional visits and letters. When I was ten, my adopted grandmother died of lung cancer. Shortly thereafter, I started having these "dizzy spells" and I would have these visions of my grandma on her death bed as though I was there, which I wasn't. In fact, I was very much guarded from that and spent time at the neighbors when mom went to here in the hospital. Mom took me to a doctor, who told me that the spells might be a psychological thing, and that once I got over the death, the spells would go away. They didn't, they just got worse. So, I was given unconclusive tests and put on medication for epileptic seizures. Which helped to a certain point, but not completely. The next years were rough. Not only dealing with that, but with a different father, who proved to be abusive to my mother. I was in misery! girls sexuality
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