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can a woman who has had a 'not-so-great/non-existant' relationship with her mother still create a lesbian relationship with another woman? i'm afraid i'll either pick someone like 'Mother' or maybe even end up acting like her. therapist seem to suggest that i need to take my place in the family hierarchy whether or not the woman at the top is accountable for her behavior, past/present. i feel like keeping my distance from unaccountable people even if they're relatives, and especially if they feel entitled to the top spot in the hierarchy without assuming leadership and accountability on the matter of emotional and psychological. it's not exactly like i feel safe knowing my needs in such a relationship are not likely to be met why even put myself in a position to have to "ask mommy" to meet my needs in relationship (as appears to be the "therapeutic" route: "relationships with our mothers are so -") when this real person has given no indication of interest in creating an open, direct and honest relationship? when what she appears to want is respect for her position of authority alone and that it is i who am accountable to her? i'd rather spend my time and energy creating relationships with people who are intentionally interested in such things but it's tough to make a decision to set that boundary with her so far out like she is just another person I know, and one I don't happen to want a close relationship with anybody been there? i appreciate your feedback if you have any looking for interesting new ppl to get to know1. Their are not YOUR. Even if the are enjoying parenting time with their father, you are not their mother. You can't sign school field trip forms, medical consent forms. Basiy, you are an adult in the home, with no legal parental rights, and can not legally make any decisions for the. If you overstep this boundary, you are asking for a world of hurt. 2. The key words and attitudes for you are "minimum contact", and "talk to the hand, the ears aren't listening". You need to have contact with her ONLY when necessary. If you go to a school event, such as parent-teacher conferences or sports events, (and yes, you can go along with your husband), you are there for the kid, and so you don't have to talk to her. While it would be nice to exchange pleasantries, you don't have to even do that. You can completely ignore her. You don't realize it yet but you have the upper hand. She is not YOUR problem, so don't give her the power to make her your problem. I that this helps a little bit. woman wants man xxx
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