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I came from a very troubled childhood and put the "d" in dysfunctional when it came to relationships. I was very successful in my career by day, crying at my therapist's office on the weekends. I had a concept of what the "right" relationship was for me, the "right" person and as a result kept ending up with all sorts of people that could not have been more wrong for me. I mean, on paper it all looked great but in reality not so much. I met this guy. He was SO not my idea of the "right" guy. Not my type, similar childhood issues, same industry (which I had avoided like the plague) and just "wrong" all over the place in my silly mental reasoning. But we got each other like no one I had ever met. We dated for a bit, I could he it was getting serious FAST and I was terrified. TERRIFIED. I broke it off with him and somehow, we remained friends. But REALLY friends. I then went out with another "right" guy after which ended as surely as anyone watching would have supposed it would. I knew at that point, my "type" was all wrong for me. I knew then I was really bad at picking the one for me. The relationship with "right" guy ended SO bad that my friend, Mr. Wrong, came over with some strawberry ice cream to talk. And I realized how grateful I was for his friendship. How much we knew about each other's darkest secrets. How MYSELF I felt with him. Over the next months, we became intimate. It was hot and heavy but in my mind, we were still "just friends". Then, one day (in bed, no less) he told me he couldn't keep seeing me. He told me he had never stopped loving me and his emotions would not allow him to just be friends now that sex was also in the mix. He told me "I don't know if this work out and neither do you but I'm willing to take that and that's what I am asking from you a. Or that we end this now." I took a few minutes while my mind swirled around in panic mode and in a moment of clarity understood that I was what was standing in the way of having. I loved him, he loved me. As a friend and now as a lover, he was actually not only not "wrong" for me but maybe the only TRULY right guy I had ever dated. I gave our relationship that 18 years ago. It's been 16 years of marriage and I am grateful every day that my best friend gave ME that second. I vote give him a. girls need a datedancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal intention. Not saying that's the case with every person I've danced with but stil I think there's something to that expression. And really 3 x's a week of going out?! Holy crap that's a lot of going out! You didn't have any rules/boundaries for your new found social life, like I dunno maybe no guy friends or spending time alone with guys. And no, you can't go back now. What happened happened. It wasn't some "mulligan" as my dear billiesteaks likes to frame CHEATING as. Marriage isn't a fucking golf game. I shouldn't have to tell you that it's something MUCH more important and complex. You need to find a way to tell your husband. You owe him the truth. Throw yourself on the of the court, do whatever you have to do, but tell him. This is some one you vowed your life to, he deserves to know the real you. I'd have serious problems respecting myself if I didn't tell they guy. As a spouse, there might be a I'd forgive a one time cheating scenario like yours but there's probably no I'd be forgiving if I had to find out on my own or hear it from some one. You need to get to the root of why you cheated. You were lonely. You were bored. You aren't dealing with the distance well. Whatever it was/is you need to find a way to identify it and fix it because the issue isn't magiy going to go away. After some serious introspection, I'd pull up stakes and move to where hubby works no matter the how small an apartment you had to get, and rededicate your life to him. You could rent out your old house. Your family and marriage are on the line here. Your marriage is paying the price for his career. online dating reviews
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