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Here is your assignment. Tonight, do something for 10 minutes that is positive. Straighten up a messy room. If you can't do it in 10 minutes, do what you can in 10 minutes. Tomorrow spend another 10 minutes straightening up something in the house. Every day, take at least 10 minutes straightening the house. some new pictures, or move the ones you have around. Rearrange a room. Move the coffee pot in the kitchen. Change your surroundings. You know those things that are covering your windows keeping the light out? Get rid of them during the day. Do everything you can to brighten your physical environment. Go to Wal-Mart and buy a couple of inexpensive throw pillows for your couch. While you are there, pick up some plugins in 2 or 3 different scents. Then spread them around your house so that when you walk from one room into another that is smells good. (Do a little fire prevention and unplug them when you are not at home.) Do all of those things until July 4th. I'll be willing to bet that you a significant difference in how you feel and want to continue doing similar things. YOU CAN DO THIS! looking to relax blow and goAs I it, you have some options: 1. Encourage her to go to a marriage counselor with you perhaps coming from a third party, not you, help her to the light and commit to a more lasting, loving relationship with you and her daughter. 2. Accept the status quo (your wife's outlook on marriage and family), and do what you can to pick up the slack so your daughter doesn't experience a broken home. 3. Recognize that it takes TWO to make a successful, lasting marriage and you can't do it all alone. You picked the wrong marriage partner if you wanted your marriage to model what your parents have. You'll have to take the risk of divorce, and hopefully picking better next time, or living as a single parent. 4. Get some hobbies of your own two nights a week, just as she's doing, opposite of her nights. Taste of her own medicine. Then renegotiate with her a recreation schedule for both of you that's also fair and for your daughter. I don't the issue with Rockfest (why don't you go with her?) or the girls' weekend a few times a year you could do the same, it's. But two nights a week IS a bit excessive. She needs to realize that. 5. Seems the two of you need to plan some better quality time together, either as a family, or as date nights (hire a sitter or recruit a family member). Since your wife doesn't know how to do this (her modeling examples, remember), then work with her on this talk to her, ask for her ideas and suggest some of your own, and schedule some plans. 6. Stop FIGHTING. I'm serious. It takes two to fight. One has to start it, but the other has to participate too, or it's not a fight. Just don't. don't raise your voice, don't go tit-for-tat, don't compete. Walk away if necessary. Keep your voice calm, speak reasonably, and if she's not receptive to that, then wait until a better time to discuss the issues. But REFUSE to fight about it. If you don't add fuel, then her fire die down quickly. It's a new habit, learn it. Just my two cents. (Or twenty, whatever.) friendship quotes
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