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a few mute points. Knowing that he is cheating vs. having a feeling in your gut comes from two different avenues. But digging 'to find evidence' just isn't the answer. I agree it is always best to keep your eyes and ears open because things do pop up. But invading into anothers privacy is just (imho) going to far. Time always tells the tale. You don't know how your life is going to turn out.."hence, your 'I'll be damned if I am one of those 40 or 50 year olds etc." I am one of those people. My first marriage was 18 years. I never pried and consequently, I was the last to know. But I can also keep my head held high and say I trusted him to the end. (Funny as in sic. thing about it is I still trust my first husband far more than my current one.) Once burned, twice shy, I guess. I am dealing with husband #2 (should I say possible stbx2) but on my own time. I don't need to pry and catch him because unfortunately, I figured it out a while back. Again I never dug around I prefered to believe in honesty first. Perhaps, if I had done some diggining, I wouldn't be where I am now. Lesson learned? Possibly. But again, I am old school and not apt to change. His mail, his phone, his s are all his turf. However, I have caught him opening/reading my mail and shuffling through my phone and I have nothing to hide. (Well, I guess I do..if that includes ing a lawyer.) brown looking 4 Douglaston New YorkRemember when you got married and you had to pay to do that? Well, there is no way around NOT paying for your divorce too!! ALL Counties have the paperwork you need. If both of you can agree on EVERYTHING then you simply write it out as a settlement agreement and you both sign it IN FRONT OF A NOTARY!!! Then go open a new divorce case at your clerks office and wait 60 days bam your done. You only be out the cost for the filing fee of your new case. A bad day for you would be that he/she won't sign a settlement agreement. Then the two of you have to have a FINAL HEARING for a judge to decide who gets what. Before the final hearing one or both of you retain an attorney to represent you at this hearing. Then, thats when things get dragged out and you end up paying thousands for either yours, theirs, or everyones attorney fees. If you have together you should just go get an attorney!! Divorces with almost always have bumps in the road or problems. You need an attorney to help you play the chess game with as intelligent moves as possible. Divorce with .everyone loses!! Its a life changing event best of luck to you. adult real sex
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