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ca65 Bagotville, Quebec adult chata reminder of who owns her before sending her off to the BF. I prefer to use suggestions, rather than outright orders most of the time. And for suggestions, she can offer modifications/minor objections to them. The brattyness comes in in the tone she uses in doing that. It's usually playful, and looking for fun. But when I give an order (and it's framed as such, usually prefaced with "you -", or given in that tone of voice), and she tries to modify/avoid doing it in that playful tone, I'm not having any. An order is an order. If it was vague the first time, the second time it isn't at all. Protesting past that, unless it's on the limits list we have is an invitation for me to deny anything she is hinting at. She has a history of manipulation (and I could happily bury a number of her family members for teaching her that that is how you get anything in life GRRRRRR!!!) So training that out of her is taking a while. that I know wouldn't put up with this kind of behavior, tagging it immediately as TFTB, and would drop someone like her. A prime example of TFTB for me is when she starts complaining about everyday decisions (what we'll do, where we are going/who we are seeing). I know she's feeling neglected then, and I'll usually take that hint to tell her we'll be sceneing. That's all she needs to know, and the manipulation comes in if she keeps complaining, or trying to hint about activities for the scene. She knows to be open an honest about what she would like, and she knows that I generally try to incorporate that. But if she pushes for something (or just keeps dropping little hints without being direct), it isn't going to happen . If that makes any sense to you dating married man
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In practice, it doesn't ever seem to work. I repeat a lot of positive affirmations to myself in my head, only to have the angry, ugly inner voice snark at the affirmations and remind me of how stupid and trite they all are. I'm quite crazy, unfortunately, but intelligent enough to reason/do combat with any kindness I might throw my own way. It would be sort of funny if it didn't keep me so fucking down. You know, sometimes I think "I'll feel sexy if I dress up as he likes and entice him, and spark his interest." But I feel foolish most of the time when I do these days, and I also feel like I'm breaking my promise to myself to NOT be the sexual initiator. It really bothers me when I do that, but honestly the last time he initiated without any hinting from me was A) over a month ago and B) when I was sleeping. Which seems to be the case so frequently! He never demands or requests sex when we're both awake just when he wakes in the middle of the night with an erection. Then I get the feeling he doesn't want me when we're both conscious. :/ But if I made good on my word and never initiated, I'd never get laid. And I'm so incredibly sexual at the core, that I would be even more miserable then than now. I'm so rambly. :/ I just feel a lot of mixed-up bad things right now and I wish I could really make it stop, instead of putting my fingers in my ears and shouting "LALALA," y'know? sexy bbw looking for something extra
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