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It does bother me, those were the hardest conversations I've ever had to have. It was beyond hisheartening, on both sides. While it is disgusting and reprehensible, it is because of my family I am where I am in life (despite this current situation) and (despite this situation) my wife is the of my life (even knowing her short comings, as we all have ours). I am capable of forgiveness and desparately want to reconcile both sides, but I think each side is dug in for the haul with no hopes a middle ground. What's so wrong with wanting to address what happened, make ammends, and move on with life together with everyone? Life is too short to stay up and desparately clinging to painful events or the grief and anger people have caused you. If you're not willing to let it go and forgive, you deserve your misery and the miserabel life it besets for you. I know my lack of sympathy is part of the problem with my wife right now. But I know first hand the trauma of sexual as well (actual sexual -), so my empathy leaves me little sympathy for anyone who continues to "live" with the trauma of such events, they just milk it and use it as an excuse to not move on with their lives. I just want both sides to admit what actually happened so we can move on, why is that too much to ask of? Why do people automatiy view the woman as a victim, she has something to gain from false accusations. He has something to gain from denying it. I understand that, we're all adults, why is it too much to ask just to throw it all on the table and sort it out so we can all move on? I might be a whiny bitch for saying that, but I'm the one who loses regardless in any other situation and it pisses me off. girls of Arnhem
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