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And this sounds to me like it is one of those cases. Actually, not selfish at all, if you both want different things and he is using guilt to hold you back from what you want, then he is the one being selfish. If he strung you along suggesting he was headed towards marriage, only to say no once you were to emotionally involved to just up and leave, then he is using you. Up and leave, well get things in order for a soft landing first, if it is an attachment relationship, and it sounds like it is to you, you are going to need some healing. Find a safe place for yourself, be kind to yourself, do all the things you did not have time for because you spent that time on him. When you feel safe and strong, take your new bad self out and start dating again. Best of luck drinks new friendsNo one would want of those things if they opened the mythical 'here's my future', envelope some years ago. But, these somewhat beautiful scars every single one of them, make for this beautiful, travel, stories to tell leather jacket of your life. I think when we imagine that sappy tear inducing Hallmark card ad of the old couple with white hair celebrating an amazing anniversary some years down the line we are not just seeing the graceful dances, the hot friday sex, the travels, we two people who know every single detail of every painful moment and that they, you, were there the next morning , still with them Imperfections, of course that's the real 'us.' To think everything or could be perfect for all, that is crazy talk, stress creating and a someone delusional circle to stand in. In the end, ask the question say 'yes' more, learn to dance. Be quiet and just listen sometimes, even if you think you know how to fix their problem. Save for a rainy day because, there be one and then that storm that they can't tell you about that just rips into your very soul and hits you in the mouth, that pride laughs as it gloats above you But, you get up. Not every one does. " The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.". Say 'your sorry, first.' Say 'please just a bit more ' and 'thank you.' Tell them the truth when you made a mistake, made them mad. Identify the problem, how it made them feel, that you are sorry and how your behavior change and why, when. Create a note or two and leave it in their jacket pocket Write them a letter reing all you can about that very first second you saw them and you gasped how exciting it was to get their number or when that door knocked for that first date ! Howe about with the next week or so, you triple XXX the time for oral sex for your partner. Do a chore or two for a few months on your own without saying anything. Take their car and go wash it, fill it with gas. Like a journey, pul over on occasion and read the map of life, yoru relationship, goals and where you really are so much easier to make small corrections then to fix total train wrecks. In the end, today is not about luck, but your choice. adults friends
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