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But we did some SM (which to us stands for Sex Magic). I've written a ritual where we focused on self-healing goals like learning how to experience and accept our "darker" feelings of anger, resentment, regret, etc. in ways and then had sex to raise energy toward our shared goals of success in those areas. We made locket talismans containing some substances used in the ceremony (., candle wax, ashes, cum) and them on the bedpost. One time, he bound me in rope, while in a seated fetal kind of position. He'd ask me a deeply personal question about my experiences with childhood sexual, and stand just outside the door while I considered my answer, sometimes crying alone in remembrance. Then he'd come in and listen to my answer and hold or caress me. Another time, I wrote an entire script with his input, for a weekend scene where his character kidnapped and brainwashed my character, ending in our doing some light cutting and blood-play all as a way to change the association for how I used to cut in the past the same way rape fantasies can give a real-life rape victim a sense of control over what was an out-of-her-control situation. Kinda reverse psychological therapy, I suppose. tall handsome gentleman looking for slim geek with secret wild side
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