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ca65 sugar daddy seeks to spoil youhow did I learn? I can't really remember learning about being to be honest. When I realized how much I was attracted to masculine women and trans men, I did what you did, I read up. The library at my school had SOME reading, but not much. I was blessed, however, by the presence of a trans woman on the staff at my school. She taught a sort of trans class, which although my schedule wouldn't allow me to actually take, she let me sit in on the class. That is when I learned about surgeries, Fienburg, and Drag. "Reading up" on a subject has for me, always been the best way to answer my questions and even to go off on tangents of a subject. I've ALWAYS loved reading though, so maybe that has something to do with it. However, I do get much of my information online. It is a very accessible (pardon my spelling), if not always reliable, source of information. I do think it is easier now to come out, than it was even 5 years ago. We have SO MUCH more information at our fingertips now, if you think you might possibly be X, you can simply e it and find out everything there is to know about being X. sorry for the novel. I fear I could keep going, but I won't. online singles dating
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After awhile, relationships are addictive. That can be a good thing when they're good and a terrible thing when they're abusive. I was in an abusive relationship/marriage that lasted 7 years. I should have left after 6 months, and I didn't. I regret that wasted time because it was very damaging to my self-esteem, though I am happy to say that my life has improved dramatiy in recent years with therapy and a heck of a lot of work on me. I worry that by sleeping with him occasionally and staying in a place where he can get a hold of you, you are never really allowing yourself to cauterize this oozing wound. I don't think you can start to move forward until he is out of the picture completely and for good. Why not change your number, change your, etc? I think that things start to feel better when you can admit that what you had was NOT good, because a good relationship is predictable most of the time. Sure, occasionally someone goes to the hospital or loses their job and freaks out a little, but it is NOT "good lover/friend one minute, sucking your bank account dry for the next." That's a user and a parasite. Those behaviors where he is a good lover/friend are what he NEEDS to do in order to keep you around to feed his addiction. Even if this have redeemable qualities, I don't think he sounds capable of being a good partner. This wish that he would die is you knowing you have to get out of this mess, but wanting someone (. fate, God, a dump truck) to do it for you. Unfortunately, YOU are the one who has to disentangle yourself from this mentally, because sadly, I suspect that even if he DID die, you would still be messed up in the head over him. Have you tried therapy? Have you tried books at the library over abusive relationships? There's a good one ed "But he never hit me." I know yours hit you (and mine hit me), but it does a good job of going into the damage that emotional can do to the victim's psyche. single dating Market Harborough
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