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bitterness scorn can consume anyone. It sounds like that's where your wife is living. While you need help. She does too. Unfortunately, you can't drag her into counseling. You can't make her be nice to you. However, you can put up boundaries in your home life. I suggest that you read some of the boundaries books. Also, remind her that the are watching. Does she really want the to grow up, watching XYZ in their parents relationship. The economy is bad. couples divorce continue to co-habitat in the same house. They simply cannot afford to live separately. With 3 small, it cost you guys more money for childcare than what she could earn. Also, there is the alimony. Seek some self esteem therapy, if possible. Not that you're bad. It's just that people in marriage turmoil are vulnerable to, manipulation, depression. Focus on the. answers wanted from an expatThe only fault you have in this situation is not getting away fromm it sooner. You did not "cause" him to become violent and abusive. That was a decison that HE made, and he made it because he is a bully and felt he could get away with it. He's used up all his "Get Out of Jail Free" cards, in my book. I know it seems like a lot right now but consider this: Imagine what your life would be like without him right now! Peaceful. Calm. Your would not be witnessing violent rages and grow up thinking that this is how a loving treats his wife. He might have mental problems but you aren't a doctor, and he is making no moves towards getting well. What is your living situation? Renting? Own a home? If you rent, it's relatively easy you walk away. You need a plan. 1. Get the hell out, and do it with a plan. Find another place to live check with your church, for example, and if there is anyone willing to rent inexpensive housing to help out women until they get on their feet. My next door neighbor has been taking in tenants in a nice basement apartment with a separate entrance for several years, and they do it to help people who need a to re-group. 2. Once you find a new place to live, start moving things out that you fear would be destroyed. Do NOT get up on "things" things are nice, but they don't heal your face when you've gotten a black eye and a busted lip. Pack up stuff gradually scrapbooks, books, jewelry, knick-knacks and store them with a friend or at your work, if possible. 3. If you husband strikes you at any time while you are in this process, do not hesitate and have his butt arrested for and battery. 4. Talk to a family law attorney, and explain that you are seeking a divorce based on physical and mental cruelty. They have other suggestions, depending on whether or not you own or rent your home, restraining orders, etc. 5. Move. 6. Serve your husband with separation papers. 7. Declare bankruptcy. You're overwhelmed and no way to pay it off. This is what bankruptcy was designed for. Get some counseling, get a grip on spending and saving, get a buget, and get youself back on track with a fresh start. local girls personals
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