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First, thanks to all for your advice and suggestions. I have, a few times, given her a certificate for a "day at the spa", and think it's time to do it again. As someone here suggested, I do think there maybe a problem with depression. As previously mentioned,it's very diffifult to talk to her about any of this, because she gets defensive and angry quickly. Someone suggested I offer to bathe her, paint her toes, trim her pubes, etc, and I have done that. Rented the hotel room, bought some flowers for her, a nice robe, but she wanted no part of the toe painting or bush-trimming. So it goes As far as the double standard if she asked me to shave my armpits, legs and pubes, yeah, I would. Why not? I'm a believer in accomodating your lovers' wishes. Someone asked about the sex, and it is non-existant for the most part. But again, thanks to all for the advice. I'm going to re-read some of the posts and if I can find a way to make her feel good aboout herself horney mom EcclesI've been asymptomatic HIV+ since the beginning. years ago, my doctor (with the best of intentions I'm sure) started me on meds prematurely. My partner had died. I was going through a terrible time of grief, job pressure, and family (his) legal problems. My immune system was clearly stressed, and my viral load spiked. Being at a low point in life, and very vulnerable to all the authority figures in my life at that time, I agreed to start meds. Big mistake. I've been fine, perfectly except for all the side effects of taking meds. I finally got fed up with having my life boxed in my meds and have discontinued them. Feel better than I have in years. Feel like "myself" again, not "altered" by a phalanx of messing with my mind. I continue to be monitored regularly and am resolute in my not to go back on meds unless the docs can clearly demonstrate that it's in my best interest. Meds are not to be taken lightly. Sure, they've got most of the meds down to a pill or two a day, not like years ago when it was a handful times a day making adherence so challenging. Still, it has a powerful effect on your mental/emotional state of mind, and this aspect of taking meds looms very large as time goes by. Meds can consume your life. It's very easy to get wrapped up in all the "what-ifs", and become morbidly obsessed with your. You can easily paint your life into a corner with paranoia and depression. Meds have their time and place in the scheme of things. Please, just take your time, consider all your options before making such a (possibly irrevocable) decision about treatment. reciprocal dating
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