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this is a very good opportunity for both of you to develop problem solving qualities. wedding planning is stressful, but not as much as the other issues you would have in your life. honestly if you two guys can't manage this minor situation, better reconsider your whole marriage or better give yourself some more time until you work out the issues. remember that marriage is not only about, but also about respect, friendship, care, responsibility and compromises which includes the problem solving. so start working out. the core of the problem solving is the good communication, so all you have both to do is sit down, breath deep, count to ten and each other start to tell in details what his problem is, what solution he would likes and the other have to listen and try to accept the solution. if the solution is not acceptable, then gently discuss the options and reach an agreement on how to solve it so it would be acceptable for the both parties. often the parents are the actual core of the problem, so first thing is to disregard any member of the family, no matter what they are tying to tell/consult you. after all you live with that person, not them. don't make it convenient for them, make it convenient for you. if the core of the issue is financial, there are other ways to work it out just discuss what cuts you can do and do it. making a detailed budged with Excel is easy and very productive when you're trying to do some precise financial planning. good luck and most important don't give up Washington seeking her swmFirst, if your wife goes for individual counseling, SHE be the client. If you go together for couples counseling, BOTH of you are the clients. My recommendation is that you each go for individual counseling, and both of you go for couples counseling. That's 3 therapists, one for each of you, and 1 for you as a couple. Lots of money, but I think it's time you put your money where your mouth is. This is not the time to cut corners. This is the time when you SHOW that you mean business. That you recognize that you're in crisis, and you're prepared to make substantial, permanent changes. If she refuses couples counseling, go for individual counseling anyway. Show her that you mean business. No words. Actions. There can be ethical conflicts when a therapist sees both of you in couples counseling, in addition to seeing one/both of you in individual counseling. The question of who is the client becomes muddled. Now, no therapist worth his/her salt give advice or tell the client what to do. Therapists don't have all the answers, and what works for one person/couple not work for another. Instead, they bring to the table all their skills to help the client(s) find their way to making their own decision(s). Forget the illusion of control; this is out of your hands. Your wife very well decide that the marriage is not worth saving. Or she shoot you one last, and if she does, recognize that it'll probably be your last, and don't blow it. That's where your individual therapy kicks in. Learn a better way. Take responsibility for your past behavior. Acknowledge the hurt you've caused, make amends wherever possible, and resolve to never be that again, with her, or in some future relationship. If you've lost your wife, accept it graciously and support her decision. Whatever the outcome, your best shot at this point is to go balls out and get ready to fight for your marriage. If this fails, be the most supportive father to your and ex that you can possibly be. Good luck. hot married women looking for men
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