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Hmm. I think I tend to be on the good girl + playful/cheerful side of the spectrum. Good for me would be clear, honorable, straightforward behavior as much as possible on both sides. Then folks paying attention and respecting the boundaries of the current play and person. Sometimes I am bouncy/cheerful/naughty/playful, but there is no malice in it. Although sometimes it is obnoxious and I get asked to tone it down. When I sub, I'm a good girl and try my best. Whether that is giving honest reactions or following requests. When I dom, my good girl lets me "-" them. Pure reactions from the heart and eyes. This is what I want. This is the energy that I feed on. How do we deal with undesireable kinds of behavior? After much trial and error, we have a "-" system. Sometimes (it could be for anything, not just bdsm stuff) one person "flags" to indicate "need your temporary attention on something." Having it be something neutral that both of us use, reduces the that someone takes it personally and gets hurt feelings. In the scene, I have seen other dynamics though, including what looks like both dom and sub enjoying/wanting bad girl or very topping from the bottom patterns. As as all the folks involved are on the same and consent to whatever the parameters are, yay! More power to them. When there are contradictory views/goals/attitudes, time for renegotiation or a possible parting of ways. seeking an attractive fun no strings playmate
By taking predisposed thoughts, habits, emotions and erasing them through persistence and method while rebuilding, rebuilding them in a way that is stronger than they were before not physiy, emotionally .. Intent is the biggest danger in that. Are you being groomed to actually be stronger or weaker. Kind of like muscle training. Stretching to tear. Tearing to restructure, to rebuild stronger. Of course without consistent excercise or attention, it go back. Sounds like your hesitancy in embracing a word to describe it would show a sense of fear or doubt within it. Again, would that not be the point? Why do it? Depends on the person, but when I think about it I dont think of it in a negative aspect. I think of it as positive. More of a future of trust. And In my analogy, Im thinking about it as being free from fear. Fear was the real powerful motivator of NOT just accepting his fate and jumping until he embraced it. At that point he is Free. So you feel broken in being free. Have you embraced that? Or is that fear of being free? Release :D. Fight it. And Own it when it happens! Saint Augustine shy guy seeks a buddyLonely divorced want woman looking for men woman wants man
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