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I work a 9-to-5 with a salary around $50k a year. He is a music producer who works from home when he's not touring the world (mostly and Canada, but also Europe) and brings in less than half of what I do at this point. He picks up odd jobs here and there (., lighting and sound for a company) to supplement his income. We split all our shared expenses in half (rent, utilities, a credit card we share). I cover my personal bills (., student -) while he covers his car payment and insurance. I'll split the car expenses with him when I get my license and begin driving. When we go on vacation together, we split those costs as well. We have individual bank accounts, and a shared account. We currently use the shared account for vacations, and that's what we'll use to cover expenses for our in the future. We have no shame about income disparity because we both contribute competently and fairly to our shared and individual expenses. We live within our means for the most part, though there is some debt between us which he is paying off in small monthly installments. We don't consider that shameful, just a challenge. let s text or talk discrete woman wantedgive me more than complaints of soda and ovaltine to convince me that those two things are breaking the bank. More so I'd say it's having 2 depending on two adults who only have one income. Things I think you could do: *go over the and ask him to hand over the finances to you *go over the and ask to formulate a plan that gives a light at the end of the tunnel for which all debts be paid and a nest egg starts, ask for half of the controls of the finances *re-affirm a vow to each other for financial solidarity in equal financial partnership *figure out a way to bring in some of your own income no matter how small (can you babysit other? work part time? do you have any special skills you could share with others like music lessons, tuturing, housekeeping, pet sitting?) I'm sure a decent amount of the problem is him fucking up but it's also you stepping up and stepping in. You can't sit back and passively let shit happen and it needs to be clear to him that neither can he. It also take tries to get through to him. So be prepared to have conversations with him and not lose your temper. You also have to creatively think about the solutions you need in place; like functioning on cash only, shopping differently, rethinking the reward systems you have at your house, hiding or cutting up the credit cards, only Christmas presents, shopping second hand only for a while. There should be no more "asking" to be involved in the finances, I would be flat out TELLING that I'm involved and I expect to go over the every single month. You are a SAHM, you ought to be able to get the mail easy enough and then funnel it all to your address. Part of this IS him fucking up but part of it YOU needing to take the reins. married wife
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