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I'm an academic (33/f) I met a (31) who turned out to be my colleague (different institution, different but related field) on an online dating site a bit more than a year ago. We had several great dates we really connected intellectually, which was a first for me but then he ed it off, telling me that he preferred to date non-intellectual women. (We hadn't slept together.) This was a turn-off for me, since I have been looking for a with whom I can connect intellectually (my work is a huge part of my life). Though we stopped dating, he was very clear that he wanted to be friends because he loved talking with me. After a couple of weeks of awkwardness, we picked up our friendship again. Over the last year, it became increasingly close and frequently flirty, but I sort of dismissed it, thinking he had already made his position clear I just thought that the fact that we had briefly dated had rescinded far enough in to the background that we could joke about it. He also opened up a lot about his relationship history (which is dysfunctional). We co-hosted an important party; when he got locked out of his apartment the next night, he turned up at my place unannounced, and we took a middle-of-the-night roadtrip to retrieve his keys. So basiy, for the last month or so, we've more or less been functioning as a couple. (People always assume we're dating.) But because I thought I knew how he felt about dating his intellectual equal, I was sort of ignoring this in fact I had gone out on a few dates with someone. He was always interested in my dating life, asked questions, etc. So he knew I was on the point of having to decide whether or not to get more seriously involved with #2. And so on Friday he invited me over and more or less seduced me and confessed a bunch of feelings for me, that his attitudes toward dating had changed, etc. On Saturday he wrote and asked if I wanted to have dinner. But I needed to break things off with #2 (we had just been on a few dates), so I postponed until, when he had already invited friends over. We ended up having them for dinner and then I spent the night (and we had sex). In the morning I happened to wake earlier so I did the dishes and made breakfast; he dropped me off at home on his way to work. (more) seeking no strings in the Fife
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