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it does not appear you have spoken with him how that phrase affects you; because of the way you and most people would interpret it. placing myself in his shoes, i can a couple of ways, that are not reflective of you personally, but how he sees things. some people, not, were raised in a guilt filled environment. they feel they are not worthy of the good things in their life. we only hear the words, but a better measure of a person is their actions. do you feel loved? i don't mean by his words, but is he considerate in the small everyday things/actions? is there a cultural aspect you have underestimated or overlooked? our culture sees this behavior differently than another. modesty is seen as a virtue by some cultures but is as a sign of weakness in ours even though we say otherwise. could your own possible feelings of insecurity only have magnified his words as you interpret them. well you can go by how some interpret (projecting their own bias) this, which only feed into your preexisting fears. if you can not broach this with your bf then this relationship is doomed anyway but not by what you thought/imagined the problem as. what do we know? we only what you tell us and that is highly colored by your own imagined fears. long term romantic relationship wantedI've been close friends with her for 14 yrs. or so. The last several years I've come to realize she is very negative about stuff. She never seems happy. I've suggested her to go back to her doctor and request maybe a different anti-depressant or something. What I'm tired of is the woe is me for every little thing in her life. I'm also tired of her always feeling like she is competing with me. She does not come out and say it, but I that she is very worried about me outdoing her. So it comes out by her one-upping comments or ways of putting me in my place for things she disagrees with me and my thinking. The last straw was last week when she and her neighbor (the third party of the friendship) started hassling me about my daughter's future wedding plans. All I did was start to discuss some of the ideas for the wedding and they immediately jumped all over me because they think it's too much, etc. Hey, they are all expensive!! You look for the best deal and measure if it covers all the bases of what you want. I try to be supportive of my friends and their loved ones. I didn't put down 3rd party when her youngest daughter chose a very expensive private university. I was supportive, encouraging her to let her daughter go if any way possible to pay for it because her daughter is a good kid and a very intelligent woman. I have always tried to support the main friend in this relationship. But just because she chose to pitch in on a more modest (but very nice) wedding for her daughter, I don't why she is putting me down for agreeing to something different for my daughter. The conversation did bring something to light for me though. I told my daughter we have family only, with her and her groom can invite a few of their most special friends. My daughter is fine with that. women wanting men
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