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a person who does not want to be intimate with you is not a good spouse. they might be an ok friend, or sibling, but this is not the equation of a spouse. a good marriage consists of, romance, intimacy, support, friendship, respect, loyalty, SEX.. among other fine qualities and reasonable EXPECTATIONS!! so hello flirt chatdancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal intention. Not saying that's the case with every person I've danced with but stil I think there's something to that expression. And really 3 x's a week of going out?! Holy crap that's a lot of going out! You didn't have any rules/boundaries for your new found social life, like I dunno maybe no guy friends or spending time alone with guys. And no, you can't go back now. What happened happened. It wasn't some "mulligan" as my dear billiesteaks likes to frame CHEATING as. Marriage isn't a fucking golf game. I shouldn't have to tell you that it's something MUCH more important and complex. You need to find a way to tell your husband. You owe him the truth. Throw yourself on the of the court, do whatever you have to do, but tell him. This is some one you vowed your life to, he deserves to know the real you. I'd have serious problems respecting myself if I didn't tell they guy. As a spouse, there might be a I'd forgive a one time cheating scenario like yours but there's probably no I'd be forgiving if I had to find out on my own or hear it from some one. You need to get to the root of why you cheated. You were lonely. You were bored. You aren't dealing with the distance well. Whatever it was/is you need to find a way to identify it and fix it because the issue isn't magiy going to go away. After some serious introspection, I'd pull up stakes and move to where hubby works no matter the how small an apartment you had to get, and rededicate your life to him. You could rent out your old house. Your family and marriage are on the line here. Your marriage is paying the price for his career. single moms
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