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I am a programmer, trying my best to live a healthy/happy life. I am 36, 5'3, have never been married, no kids/drink/smoke/drug ( Does it also means no fun? :) ), living a simple life style. I like travelling, hiking (both in nature and in neoghborhood), haning out with friends, movies and books (there are just too many good movies and books). I regularly go to Bible study groups (both Chinese and American, varies at times) and gym. A lot times both of them (Bible Study and Gym) are boring, but I keep going. :) Also, I like numbers, I like filing tax, also, am a careful investor in stock and real estate markets. Am a diligent person, always improve myself, I want to have a good life.
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Looking for opinions while DH not agree with everything these are the feelings I "have" and I'm looking to make sense of them somehow. We are married. He's a great father responsible person, good job, good provider (I do work and pay my full 'half') He is a homebody. Non drinker non smoker. Sex maybe once a month mostly less. don't remember the last time he thought about meeting my needs. Mentioned it to him and he told me if I had a problem to take care of it myself. I give oral quite often because I pleasing him. He has never reciprocated. When we kiss, it's a peck on the lips or cheek. No real passionate kiss in about years. He does watch internet porn daily. DH is very concerned with his appearance. I often feel like I'm his maid or secretary more then his wife. I cook full meals. Wait on him then hate myself because I do that too much I think. I wake up before him to fix his lunch, coffee a breakfast for the drive to work. Every night before we go to sleep, he asks me to scratch his back and his butt I do. I keep the house very clean well organized. I work out of a home office so it's like I'm on all day. Told by I'm an attractive woman. Have dated professional sports figures before. So I don't think it's my looks. I'm vain to a fault. He has a habit of always commenting on "hot" women on TV and sometimes it gets to me in a way that makes me feel bad about myself. Often feel used, under appreciated, under loved he says I'm being too sensitive. I pointed out to him that "If you don't take care of your woman, someone -" he blew it off. I've also told him we either need to find a church or a therapist. He says he loves me. People close to him before me have said he has a very strange way of showing and that he is a too selfish sometimes. What do you say? Thoughts? I'm going to eventually share this post with him so we can discuss the input I get. How stupid am I? sex xxx sex
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