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by NOT managing the divorce process. Either the pain is too great and they don't wish to deal with the legal issues, they are "busy" getting on with playing around or they are petty. Attorneys work for YOU, period end of story. To keep costs to a minimum you learn the law. Focus on the law as it applies to YOUR case, it allow you to ask pertinent questions and develope your case. You can ask your attorney what sections of the statutes you should study. Most states have them on the web. YOU are the project manager. Act like one and direct those you have hired. A few hints, lawyers tell you. Most clients only wish to give their side of the story, their own version of the truth. (much like you on difo) That leaves you and your attorney at a disadvantage. It costs a lot of money to respond to unknown little tidbits of info. Give the FULL story, be free with all information, good and bad. Be factual with your case, have an outline prepared prior to your first meeting. Leave emotions and your pride at home. Have the most complete list of all assets and debts you can make, list EVERYTHING seperate property, marital property/debt. Have it organized and easy to follow, time is the money sucker. If you have all the information prior to your first meeting you be $$$ ahead. Be reasonable not emotional. don't argue, discuss. Understand that in almost all circumstances it doesn't matter who is to blame. He/she could have fucked all the participants in the Castro Street Fair and it doesn't give you one bit of an advantage. Use to communicate when possible, leave a trail but chose your words carefully. Communication to your attorney should have a read/reciept so you know when your message is being read. Give reasonable time frames for a response, this should be discussed during your first visit (its your ATTORNEY's job interview) and agreed upon. Yeah, you can be the most reasonable party in the world and up against a true psycho but if you follow this it keep your costs down. xxx woman on BrisbaneMy wife cheated on me. I haven't said anything to her; I found out this morning. I snooped, as I did a couple years ago, just before we were married. She said she'd never do it again, without ever really admitting to "it" at all. On the day before our marriage, her old affair partner answered my question confirmed that she'd lied about meeting with him several times, on trips and outdoor ventures. We both promised that it was a new start. It felt so, so good. Not so ago I admitted it was me that I didn't feel like I could trust her. I could how that hurt her Like she wanted me to trust her, so she could trust herself. I still her I think. I'm afraid she'll never get over this thing of hers. I am not sure she really feels like she's doing anything wrong. Some brand of what she s feminism, that: where she seems to believe sex can be meaningless or only physical with one person, and intimate with the one you. I'm thinking about divorce. I moved here for her. I have no future here. I thought we were happy (I really did), and I think we might have been, but now I want to move away somewhere, maybe back to my home state, maybe to somewhere I've always wanted to go, Portland, or Hawaii. Even if it is running away. But I'm not sure I want to even admit I know what happened. Plus (here's the killer), it's not hard evidence. It's reams of and innuendos, and references to time together in a hotel room. That it could have been just drinks-between-friends is very possible, and I would be so in the wrong, hurting her. I am not good at hiding it when I'm this upset. But if I'm wrong, then what? Then just apologize and she forgives me (as she has for so things)? Thought about contacting the "other guy," but he seems too slick to 'fess to anything, and I really don't want to open that book. I have been lied to every time by my girlfriend, then my fiancee, then my wife, when she was asked. She has several times refused to consider couples therapy. I have no friends that aren't hers as well, in town. I guess that's why I'm dumping all of this here. At least talking/writing about it might stop me from doing something stupid and irreversible. Any thoughts out there? wants for some fun
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