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most of the feedback has made me very aware of the overall view on this issue. I definitely feel there are limitations to trying to discuss things on here,but nevertheless I did post. I think people confuse my feeling attracted to this woman and my actually acting on it. Having put this info out on a forum I knew I was taking a that I might encounter strong, negative, even hostile, scary stuff. Nevertheless, writing here has clarified for me a couple of things. I am confused,conflicted, uncomfortable, and uncertain with the whole thing or I wouldn't be asking opinions etc. When I feel that way about things I don't go out and act on it, I need to figure out what is going on. I have no interest in hurting or exploiting anyone. Especially this woman and as a result my friend, her mother. The daughter be going back to university in 3 weeks. These emotions fizzle out. I have often been attracted to other women who for whatever reason are not available. In a sense this is the same, only far MORE complicated too much potential for disaster. The reality is that if I ever did act on these feelings, the consequences would be negative and unhealthy for everyone concerned. I would lose far more than I would gain. I might get a passionate moment and that's about it. I do NOT want to cause problems for this woman or my friend. So I am not just thinking of what I want or need. I am looking at what the consequences of my behaviour would be IF I did choose to act on these feelings. Seems more rooted in fantasy than reality now. I guess I just need to work on forgetting about her "that way". i dont want to wait in vain for your loveI'm working that out. People change as they grow. I previously thought I could NEVER date someone who didn't share the same religious beliefs or cultural background as me either. Found out that the demonstrable character of a person carries a LOT more weight for me than the religion they subscribe to or what their race is. The marriage issue is evidently more pliable for me than say, cheating, etc. The relationship is worth it for me to invest more time dating him. I am hoever taking the advice here to heart and not proceeding with moving in with him for the next couple of months. I'm setting an internal deadline of 6 mos to 'shit or get of the pot' as to whether it's a true dealbreaker for me or not. Hopefully it won't take that. And for those that say what are you teaching your? Hopefully that -/life is worth taking a for. If it works out grand, if it doesn't you learn to dust off and carefully, thoughtfully try again. lonely mums xxx
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