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and sometimes you have a mixed pair trying to arrange for a first meal, with mutual incomprehension of each other's positions. One party has no idea why you'd want to waste over an hour getting to know someone with whom there's no immediate chemistry; the other can't be bothered coming out for a chillingly businesslike inspection, by someone who isn't enough interested in humans to spend a little time regardless. The better one understands the other kind, the easier it might be to negotiate this. Or I could just stick with people of my own frame of mind. I emailed with one dude yesterday who told me scarcely anything (just basic stats about his height, weight, income, age, marital status, # of -), resisted answering any other questions, was greatly against a Dutch treat meal for the first date, did not want to talk on the phone for half an hour or so as I normally do before meeting, and expected me to be ready to meet for coffee based on stats alone. We had not exchanged pictures, but I didn't care about that: I was trying to find out if we had any shared interests, and he wouldn't say. Of course we not be meeting. But I am trying to figure out how much of this is SOP in the dating world, how much is his resentment of other women he feels wasted his time, how much is his own special brand of impatience to find a little chemistry and get laid, and how much is reasonable. Spetses sex girlon the Women's Issues forum, as this is a forum geared toward queer women. But then I realized that your issue isn't exclusive to heterosexual people. You can't know how your presence might or might not effect his, their mother, or anyone. That's not your concern. That's his and you should trust that he's capable of handling his own business. Your only concern should be how you feel. Tell him in a straightforward manner. If he shares your feelings, then the two of you figure out a way to make it work. And if he doesn't, well then presuming you're both mature adults, you'll figure out a way to stay friends if you really want. Good luck. And one more thing: All mothers are not "hardwired" to be insanely vindictive. naughty girls
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