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You mention an 18 year old, I'm assuming there are also younger involved. My ex had two and I went through all of it dealing with their mother. Eventually I had to step back from the details of their interaction. They are the mother and father of these, they have to make their own decisions. You've taken on a lot of baggage and it won't end until the last one is grown up and support is over even then she still be in their lives. Adults things are between adults. You the and show them that, but if it comes down to issues between mom and dad, you just need to tell them you them but their mom and dad have to work things like that out. Otherwise your life be consumed with their drama and trust me, your marriage won't survive. I did a lot of fighting on behalf of my stepchildren to provide them with the first stable home life they had in years and to show them what a normal life was like. You can do all of this without getting involved in things like support and a backpack. And as far as "paying for meals", ask the 18 year old how he would like to deal with it. Maybe he wants to show up with a grocery bag of food for the weekend. Maybe the easy way out is to give him $20 to run to McDs for every meal. Ask him what he thinks it would take for this to not be a problem for him. Ironiy after my ex and I split, the mother decided to take my advice and go into counseling. No for dad, he chose his path and it didn't include his. Continuing to fight with her was more important than what was best for the. But she did come out of it with a healthier way of dealing with the, their disappointments and their relationship with their father. I would say that if any of this influences their attitude or school, family counseling on your side is in order. Bottom line, you are on the sidelines of this and the two of them have to choose how they are going to deal with the and each other. It isn't your fight. If you can your husband and your stepchildren and put the rest of that stuff out of your mind, support them without taking sides, and just them it be enough. Or as in my case, it not be. horney women Crystal Springs KansasWashington Post 1, Trethewey: Poetry ‘showed me that I wasn’t alone’ Trethewey is a product of the South, born in Gulfport., 46 years ago, although her father (white) and her mother (black) were forced to leave the state to. She is a daughter who at 19 came to know profound grief when her stepfather shot and killed her mother. A professor (- University) and Pulitzer Prize winner (in for the poetry collection “Native Guard”), Trethewey this month become the first poet laureate of the United States to take up residence in the nation’s capital. Trethewey recently spoke with Style’s about how she found her voice, how her experiences shaped her as an artist and why she decided — for the next few months, at least — to Washington home. Below are edited excerpts from that conversation. The first thing I tried to do in the months after losing my mother was to write a poem. I found myself turning to poetry in the way so people do — to make sense of losses. And I wrote bad poems about it. But it did feel that the poem was the only place that could hold this grief. I found a poem. Auden’s “Musee des Beaux Arts.” It begins, “About suffering they were never wrong, The old Masters .” And it goes on to describe the Pieter Breugel painting of Icarus. In the foreground, of course, there’s everything -: a ship, a horse scratching its behind on a tree. All those things . But then at the very end of the poem — Icarus falling into the sea. And what it made me realize is that my grief felt like that. It felt so deeply personal and so invisible to the rest of the world. The world was going on about its way while I was over there, this individual suffering what seemed to me a huge loss, what was to me a huge loss. That poem showed me that I wasn’t alone in feeling that way. That’s what poetry can do for us — to remind us when we feel most alone, we are not at all. naughty dating
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