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then it wouldn't be so hard for you to be in his presence for a few days without you feeling like he's "contaminating" your life. Every sentence you've written about him in this thread has been dripping with contempt and revulsion. I didn't say you were wrong for feeling that way about him but I was disputing that you're not still carrying a chip on your shoulder. By your own admission, you still yourself as a "victim" to that monster. The first step towards truly liberating yourself from that mentality is to stop seeing him through the lens of the past. Why get all worked up about him coming for a visit? I agree with Sphynx that it's best he stay at a hotel, but you don't want him there at all. Look, he was a really shitty father and you're probably never going to get an apology or any self-awareness from him. Is he a narcissist? Could be. You're not exactly immune from mental issues either. He'll be dead enough one day but he's also your father. Still means something to him or he wouldn't be wanting to come you. It's not about pretending that past never happened, but making the best of what's there now. Even if it's just for a few days. granny date in salinaWhy are you so quick to blame or jump to conclusions???????? You take one passage in isolation WHAT can you not contain in your mind, the overall point I was trying to make, in this whole thread? Why is it so important to point blame, not every situation can blame be so concretely applied. Questions need to be asked what let up to this condition, are they organic or inorganic in nature or a combination of of these. You are so quick to point the needs of one (female!) as if that is all there is to a situation. There are organic and inorganic reasons for his behavior also. Are they all his fault? Without further understanding of the situation the solution seems to be one of to leave. Is your mind, this one or two dimensional in your thinking? I wish I could hear what really is happening here instead of hearing the words from only one of the two parties. As the point of the story mentioned by rathskellerdoor, the situation is never so clear as mud especially to those involved. That seems to be the answer of choice in this forum of late, and you wonder why divorce is as high as it is. What I am seriously saying is that the resolution might be found if she refocuses her attention on to the loss in intimacy of their relationship. The sex situation is but a symptom here. If it was just the sex issue, you would think he would want to find out the underling reason for his lack of. I think he already has a good idea what it might be, but refrains from saying so; or at least from his point of belief -which be proven to be wrong also as her beliefs in this relationship. nsa personals
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