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just to add something to the mix here. :) While reading your posts, (which are always so articulate and thoughtful, by the way) what came across first to me is you are a THINKER. So, maybe the key to developing those social relationships that would allow for you to be friends first would be ACTION sorts of things while expanding your circle. Let me explain. It was easier for me, as someone that lived in my head A LOT, to maintain a friendship with someone I was attracted to by getting involved in something physical not just social/chatting stuff. Much to my husband's chagrin, who happens to be an amazing cook, I never took that cooking class but that could be one if you wanted to keep things light. Martial arts is another one my girlfriends would always scoff until I convinced them to come down to the studio I trained at for years and they met fantastic guys from all walks of life and just TRY looking all sexy and cool with sweat beads pouring down your forehead. :) That actually helped my perpetually-with-the-wrong-guys girlfriend make lots of guy friends one of whom, a dentist, introduced her to the guy for her. Fantastic story, really. In a nutshell, she was sweet, smart, cute as a button but really jaded when it came to guys and just having a dojo with "brothers" (who were protective and full of friends/advice) was a particularly healing experience for her. She ended up marrying the guy and now they both train at that studio. Super cute. If something more cerebral and cause oriented is your idea of action, I did get involved in humanitarian causes that were dear to my heart and that has a way of engendering friendship while still keeping focus on something besides romance. One in particular, a shelter for teenage runaways, was where I found a friend that I eventually dated for a year or so. Great guy. We weren't right for each other term but we are still friends today. There's my.02. you find that friends first situation. They are INFINITELY better. Should the relationship end, it generally ends on a MUCH more positive note. Oh! And the sex is better too well YMMV. :) married women Bayamon moas i would be with a boyfriend and a girlfriend! right now have neither. happy with my sexuality and sometimes amused by it. wonder how to fit it into any kind of sane life. i wouldn't overestimate the fluidity in my sexual orientation either i think i've always been attracted to both. when i was younger, i used to "fall hard" for members of both sexes. i think i'm over that. odd vignettes: when i was in college, i observed that after 3 or 4 beers, i would start hitting on random women. after 7 or 8, i would start hitting on random men. when i was in my late 20s, my BF talked me into running a newsletter with him. i was surprised that i found one of our lesbian writers quite attractive. at a particularly raucous New Year's party, I came out as just before midnight. by 3 am, i was visibly hitting on one of the female guests. after "just being friendly," i've had a woman look me in the eyes and say, "I'm *married*," and i've had a look at me in the same way, and say, "I'm *straight*." asian woman
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