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just stop all contact with the mystery woman. If you feel you're "broken," what makes you think you're in any position to be in a relationship with anyone? She wants to change but the continues because you accept it. I can't imagine a counselor wouldn't have advised both of you about this, unless you're not sharing a detail about YOUR behavior??? Draw your boundary and tell your wife what you no longer put up with or you have to walk away. She has to know the consequences. But whatever you choose to do, sneaking off to have emotional sex with your old flame is deceitful and the wrong way to leave a relationship. The emotional footprints you leave behind have a ripple effect on others in life and you have that on your conscience. If you're planning to end the relationship, do it with and dignity. Start a new relationship after you've healed and done you're "me work." looking for guys around my age or younger
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