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Weird thing about life is that a lot of us face the same thing but our individuality makes it all unique. I've been in your position and your boyfriends. Now everyone has already said 'have the talk' and start being truthful. I agree with them, to a point. The experience is showing you this isn't going to go away, it's going to fester and nag at you perhaps eventually overtake you. When that happens well that's what happens when something 'oh, I didn't really plan this it just happened' um, happens. You WANT some affair to be out of your character but here you are thinking about it. I think you hit the nail on the head and you're very accurate when you said you were searching for the least offensive truth. It's hard to connect with someone when that's going on and it sounds like it's been there from the start. You two were never really open to each other sexually and protected the fragile ego in order to not sacrifice the budding relationship. I also can that you two and in short order I might add.. let this relationship just slide onto the back burner. Creative aspirations, friendships and 'networking' (is that code for fucking?) have taken the lead. That's a LOT of shared responsibility there. I think the most damning thing you've written though is that you no longer feel attracted to him. I'm not sure exactly why but a sexual mismatch paired with you seeing a weaker side of him would be a powerful birth control device. Mix in the protection and I'm not seeing a whole lotta fuckin' in your future. All I can say is that when I was in your position I was able to get it back only the spark was something lost, not never had been. There was no 'talk', there was introspection. We had changed physiy over the years, wife had gained quite a bit of weight and I wasn't as attracted to her. LOVED her to death, just no wow factor. I thought and yes sometimes hard on what it was that I really loved about her. Thought about what we did and how we connected at that time that time when it was good. I tapped into that. Well, it worked for ME and my wife, well she became like you and we never had 'the talk'. There were some conversations but it was filled with code..searching for the least offensive truth. swinging Broomfield womanSphynx was right if you haven't been clear on what you want and make it clear that this is a dealbreaker, then you are being unfair to him. Let's face it, you've let this drag on for years why should he think you aren't at least reasonably content with the situation? You might complain, but you haven't DONE anything about it. Complaining doesn't DO anything, it just expresses your frustration. It's time to sit him down NOT in the bedroom and tell him that you are finding that you an active sexual life. The comment that he doesn't have to kiss you because he's a teenager is just ridiculous. Do you smoke, too? I ask, simply because it's rare to find one side of a couple that smokes a lot and the other not smoke at all. What would happen if you offered to stop smoking if he did, too? Support each other in quitting smoking? That would be great for both of you. (And it might solve a problem, in that he doesn't like to kiss knowing his mouth tastes like an ashtray.) Does he have weight issues? Sometimes men can be self-conscious in bed if they aren't happy with their body image, either. He's not going to go from "eh" to "WOW!" overnight. Personally, I think sex is oversold as a source of happiness you might get your kink on for a while with another guy, but it's only a temporary satisfaction before that becomes blase', too. Decide what you want different sexual positions, him showing his for you (and isn't that what this is all about, really?) by initiating sex more often, etc. Put it on the table, and where it goes. You might want to consider sex therapy, too it sounds like he might have a up or two that's getting in the way of a fulfilling life. outdoors sex
getting laid Saco it could be the weight, probably happens all the time. But if that breaks up a marriage, it ought to be broken up. Telling her that she's at fault for hurting his feeling because SHE didn't make HIM lose weight is so out of line, really. She's supposed to make weight loss a joint effort? Then you lie about saying you believe in personal accountability. Because if there's anything in the world that is % personal accountability, it's weight loss. You just don't like her. I don't much either because she hasn't left. But I hardly feel she's at fault or not being responsible. She's begging people to tell her how to make a passive/- excuse for a husband "forgive her" for being who she is. That's bullshit. I guess we read different threads. BTW, if I was married to what she has described, my sham marriage wouldn't be my interest either. I think that's a positive characteristic of hers. Billings granny private sex
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