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The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. "We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper. "Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted. The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first." The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay." "Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?" The trooper continued. "When we pulled her up she had 12 twenty pound crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs on her." Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?" The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow!" swf looking for fun honest manMeet Gustin. The 41-year-old was at the courthouse in Bradenton yesterday morning for an appearance on a minor traffic incident. While in the elevator, Gustin struck up a conversation with a woman there on a support matter. As the 19-year-old exited the elevator, Gustin allegedly “reached out with his left hand and grabbed her left breast and squeezed it,” according to a report. “He told her thank you and have a nice day,” cops noted. The woman reported the incident to a case worker, who sought to track down the elevator groper. After Gustin, pictured in the mug shot above, was located on the courthouse’s sixth floor, a second woman approached investigators to report that he had just masturbated in front of her. After being handcuffed and read his rights, Gustin denied the grope, claiming he was alone in the elevator. As for the second woman, he acknowledged that he “ed a girl over to him because he thought he knew her.” While admitting that his hands were in his pants, Gustin said, “I had an itch.” When cop then asked why he would someone over while itching himself, Gustin had a simple explanation: “Because I thought she might itch it for me.” The unemployed Gustin was booked into the Manatee County jail on a misdemeanor battery count. He is being held in lieu of $ for his courthouse antics. (3 pages) black women and marriage
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