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The narcissist's guarded detachment is a sad reaction to his unfortunate formative years. Pathological narcissism is thought to be the result of a prolonged period of severe by primary caregivers, peers, or authority figures. In this sense, pathological narcissism is, therefore, a reaction to trauma. Narcissism is a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that got ossified and fixated and mutated into a personality disorder. All narcissists are traumatized and all of them suffer from a variety of post-traumatic symptoms: abandonment anxiety, reckless behaviors, anxiety and mood disorders, somatoform disorders, and so on. But the presenting signs of narcissism rarely indicate post-trauma. This is because pathological narcissism is an efficient coping (defense) mechanism. The narcissist presents to the world a facade of invincibility, equanimity, superiority, skilfulness, cool-headedness, invulnerability, and, in short: indifference. This front is penetrated only in times of great crises that threaten the narcissist's ability to obtain narcissistic supply. The narcissist then "falls apart" in a process of disintegration known as decompensation. The dynamic forces which render him paralyzed and fake his vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and fears are starkly exposed as his defenses crumble and become dysfunctional. The narcissist's extreme dependence on his social milieu for the regulation of his sense of self-worth are painfully and pitifully evident as he is reduced to begging and cajoling. At such times, the narcissist acts out self-destructively and anti-socially. His mask of superior equanimity is pierced by displays of impotent rage, self-loathing, self-pity, and crass attempts at manipulation of his friends, family, and colleagues. His ostensible benevolence and caring evaporate. He feels caged and threatened and he reacts as any animal would do by striking back at his perceived tormentors, at his hitherto "nearest" and "dearest". french women at the Loch Lomond beerImagine the most horrible thing that has ever happened to you in your life happening to you again. I believe that I have some form of post-traumatic stress disorder. I spent most of my 20s just casually dating, with only a couple of short-term boyfriends. They seemed nice, but they were addicts. Probably a lot of what I saw as "nice" was them in an altered state. I was 28 when I met the last guy. We met online. He was younger than I was and I was attracted to his youthful optimism. When I said I was afraid to get serious with a younger guy (or any guy) he said "sooner or later, something's gotta work out." I was "betting on potential." He was bright and seemed mature, so I figured he just needed a new start. I told him he didn't belong in Memphis because his mindset was more like that of a Californian. After we'd known each other for several months, He impulsively bought a one-way ticket to California. Being the caregiving codependent whatever it is, I assumed he just needed someone to show him how to accomplish his goals. I didn't realize his goal, to the extent he had one, was to just out and mooch off of me. A few months after he moved here I experienced the first of what would be back injuries. I was also diagnosed with a chronic health condition that mimics a tumor. I was unable to walk, my vision became impaired and I developed chronic nerve pain. This guy literally had to tie my shoes for me and physiy prop me up if I needed to walk 10 feet. I became extremely dependent on him. I needed him to be my arms and legs. Eventually I did regain the ability to walk but I still have damaged vision and nerve pain and can't lift anything. I can't do things like take out the trash or groceries. My ability to drive is limited because I have very poor depth perception. Although he never acknowledge it, I believe he basiy took advantage of my poor health. He saw it as a key to do whatever he pleased, provided he cooked, drove and lifted heavy objects. He wore his mask of "perfect guy" for years. It was happenstance that I discovered a lot of things about him that he hid from me. So that's the bottom line. I'm too trusting of "nice" people because I can't comprehend evil. divorced woman
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