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It is not important whether you are right or some of the others are right about her feelings and intent. The only way that can be resolved is to get inside her head. The red is the lack of communication that seems to exist between the two of you in an almost year LTR. You can say what you like to me but you can not deny the facts. One of the foundations of a strong relationship is communications. Even if you two get back together, if this is not resolved this just happen again and again until resentment sets which most couples never recover from -stories become exaggerated. I am not pointing to blame because there is none to give. The communication problem stem with her or you or the both of you by the way you handle stressful situations. Some close up some run away and other become verbally or more none of them any good because of misunderstandings run rampant. Even if you believe you both have a great communications (fooling yourselves!), one of the only reasons someone not be talking is that they are considering opting out of the relationship it says there are problems in your relationship that can not be changed without communications. Your talking about change tells me that is a point of contention here. Not saying you are the problem or not the problem or that her expectations be unrealistic .but these are areas that need to be discussed and agreements must be followed with an accountability set up. If you two can not abide by this without resentment of unfairness then you two have a. If these feelings do come up you two must have a way to communicate this without hurt feelings being developed. There is so much more to this that some serious reading is ed for. You both have to have the trust (another foundation) to feel you can say anything to your partner without fear. What others think when they think of trust is not the trust I am speaking of. Active listening is also lacking, the other side of the coin of communication! sex chat near Daytona BeachBare with me for a sec cuz I'm just thinking this out but I think people also forget that marriage is very different these days than it used to be. Gender rolls in western society were far more rigid. Men were expected to support their wives and financially and wives were expected to support their husband and emotionally/domestiy. Men were groomed to be the "men of the house" and women were groomed to be "good wives and mothers." I think a lot of the problems with marriage today stem from a blurring of those rolls and people having to define their marriages for themselves with a LOT more gray area. It's WONDERFUL but also very confusing. Particularly since most people are unaware of just how much the feminist movement has changed our society as a whole. It's kind of nice to think that men of my generation actually think that women are their equals. It's still happening though and things are still be ironed out. Both of your examples prove my point. "Men need to help more" -> Indicative that the male gender roll still hasn't quite solidified to be "obvious" that men need to also do things traditionally thought of as a wife's roll. The need to keep dating their spouse, I think, is fallout from the fact that women are now able to walk away from marriage without being social pariahs. They have a lot more choices (choices traditionally reserved to men) and though it's a touchy subject it's not nearly as acceptable for husbands to rape their wives. The "not enough sex" issue and cheating has been a millenia arguement so not so new. Men have been keeping mistresses for as as there were "monogamous" relationships. What I think is interesting is that men are less able to go outside of their relationships without their wives/gf's leaving them and SO it also leaves a certain amount of responsibility on the part of the women to try and keep their menfolk happy. Again fallout from the blurring of gender rolls. Where women were previously more dependent and unable to leave in a lot of situations or chose to turn a blind eye, we more and more this cheating is unacceptable so now what? situation. dating for marriage
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