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that I am speaking from the point of view of the spouse who went overboard. I know what he's experiencing and I trampled all over the feelings of my husband, my and my friends to "get it out of my system". I had to have a HUGE dose of reality hit me and what I was doing to those who me to those I. I swung in so directions even thought maybe I was actually a lesbian then I thought I could go back to just being hetero it was all so confusing. Counseling was KEY for me! It stopped the maddness and helped me realize that I was not the only one in the equation there were real people, with real feelings that I was doing damage to. And the I who I hurt more than I can even think about stood by me and was even prepared to let me go if that meant my happiness I have a wonderful support network. There is a book out there that is written from the point of view of the spouses its stories of families real people helped me to what I was doing to him to take a step back into my life and slow down the craziness. casual sex La Junta bendIf you become disabled, the courts are suspect of you. They don't like to reduce support ever. Because some people have it in the past. The courts caught on a time ago to the idea that a the non custodial parent the system to not pay their fair share to the custodial parent. There were A LOT of years where women were much guaranteed custody of the no matter what due to the tender years doctrine, and during that time, men did not have to pay a dime in support. They could owe hundreds of thousands of dollars and the mom would never a dime because poppa bear could lie and claim to be disabled or lie about his income and his ability to pay. They had to impliment laws to prevent that of the system. Now the pendulum of support laws has been swinging too. Now support is a little too strict and custodial laws are a little too supportive of dad's getting custody. 70% of men who fight for custody, get it. Most men do not fight for custody, but those who do, win. And support enforcement takes at least a year to lower support even when there is good cause sometimes they take much longer. They don't like doing it. If you go to divorce court, things are a little more fair because the state doesn't pay for her to have an attorney while you walk in in Pro se. THAT is the real problem. A broke disabled father walks into court and mom has a paid for by the state lawyer defending her interest and he has to defend himself. The support doesn't get lowered and arrears accrue. Thats not really fair so go back to family court and file a motion there, then she at least has to spend money if she wants to get defended well. There IS a way to get justice you just have to get educated and enforce your rights. Thats why people say "hire an attorney" because they protect your rights. Thats the reason support office hearings are kind of unfair custodial parent gets free representation of her interest and NCP doesn't. wants for fun
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