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Never, Never, Never, NEVER GIVE UP! Just because some people don't want to be around you does not mean you are bad. I don't know you, but I'll bet it's THEIR loss. Relationships? Different people get into, or decide not to get into, relationships at different rates. When I realized that my ex had taken YEARS from me, I made a decision not to give her any more by letting her have my feelings. It was very liberating. You can do it too. Not preaching here, but there is a Scripture that says, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and they that it eat the fruit thereof." I take that to mean that what we say affects how we are. It is hard to be positive when all around us looks negative. Just remember, the negative is AROUND you. The negative is NOT YOU? We all have "tapes" that we play in our heads. Mine used to be very negative self-image tapes. One day, I decided to change the mental tape, and I began saying positive things about myself. It was hard. It took effort at first, but eventually the "positive tapes" began to come as naturally as the "negative tapes" had. My friend, YOU CAN DO IT!!! Is depression real? Absolutely. Is it tough to deal with. Often the answer is yes. Can you beat it? Without a doubt. I wouldn't tell you to "just get better" any more than I would say that to a person with a broken arm. They are both medical conditions. If you had a broken arm, it might slow you down, but you would not let it stop you. The tough thing about depression is that it affects the very that you need to use to fight it. (Ugh) looking older for early morning rainy day cock*always* going to impact current relationships. Once the survivor's integrated her experiences into her past/life, she choose to move on. That's what therapy's for helping you recover, integrate and become a whole, functional person. Some survivors reach a point of wanting to leave past things behind. It's a coping technique they/we have a right to to say you are finally done with it, and that it have no more power over you. Everyone's a lil' bit kinky, or has things they enjoy or hate. All I expect my partner to tell me is "don't lick my ear, I don't really like that." And I won't do it again. It's not relevant *why* she doesn't like her ear (or whatever) being licked. I'll lick something -! If doing something wrong is going to trigger a crying jag in bed, and this is going to be an ongoing issue in the relationship, that's when disclosure is good if the survivor really wants to give the relationship a shot. Otherwise, not a whole lot of people are going to stay with someone who is unstable and unpredictable. BUT, I don't think she's obligated to disclose anything at all. After all, the other partner has a choice too. She can decide if she wants to stay with someone who obviously has issues and isn't communicating about it. fat woman
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