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When i asked him to leave, it was his black out anger that made the decision .he grabed our daughter (5 ft 2 in soaking wet), by the throat. the end result was me ( lbs) on the floor, with him on top of me (him, lbs) me with a broken rib all i could say was **I am done** My income was what we have lived on for the past at least 10 years, i am disabled .he would work short periods, and quit the job in the blink of an eye yeah, i would totaly say his self esteem was trashed, but he was the one to trash it .i had tried several times over tha last few years to help him to help himself, to no avail .so i paddled along, paid the bills as best i could, and loved him anyway. When folks around our town have asked about him, i would update them accordingly, he is doing better than i have seen him do in YEARS, and i couldnt be more proud of him .another factor, he had a closet habit, off and on for 15 out of 16 years .i didnt figgure it out for the first 6 years we were together and its been a battle ever since. He finaly got succesfully sober when he left .no more ghetto trailer to worry about fixing, no more worry about the responsability of any of the mess left behind he got a whole new world .up and out of the mess here, and ploped right into a wonderful life .ok, so this was a separation to fix ourselves i thought we were both making fantastic progress .when our daughter gave birth, c section, she ed dad from her recovery room .he brushed her off .we ed him on his birthday, again he brushed us off. Ok, so i did have a feeling he was seeing someone but i was NOT prepared for .**I have met someone, she is wonderful, i want a divorce, and i am shutting off the cell phones** Took my breath away . I be ok i think ..16 years is a huge chunk of my life, and this trailer is still a huge leaky mess, a work in progress, my way of healing my self esteem/respect, which i lost in an effort to this person, way to years ago . CONT NEXT POST alladin looking for his latin adult personals
I turn of the shower and sit there for a second letting the water drip from me. I shivered as the cool air from out side seeped into the bathroom. I grabbed the towel and started to everything dry, avoiding the center of me because it’s still throbbing and aching. I put on my favorite silk night gown; it’s black silk that to the floor and covered my toes. Made me feel like a the way it on off my shoulders and the floor. It fit me perfect. Not to tight but fell against my figure and still let me move. I moved thru my house turning off all the lights getting ready for bed. I am so glad tomorrow is Saturday; I get to sleep in. I stoked the fire putting on another couple of small logs to keep the house warm. I walk back to my room and look around. The light is pouring in thru the windows and the sheer white curtains are dancing along the wall. My room was supposed to be the formal sitting room. Windows lined the front and far wall with a closet and bathroom to the back. My dresser lines the wall with my bed. As I crawl into bed I think abut what I need to do tomorrow and I think one last time about Sir then I smile to myself. I was some where between a dream and reality I think. I was dreaming I was in the woods again running from something. The shadow was getting closer. I ran across the log trying to get back home but I was grabbed by my hair and throat and pushed down onto my knees. I keep shaking my head and begging to be let go. And I hear his voice, “open for me”. I hesitate and open my eyes… I jerk myself up in the bed because there is a standing over me. As I start to roll over to the night stand for my gun I feel him grab my waist and pull me back I start to scream but he is on top of me, sitting on my belly and with his hands on my mouth. I try to him off but he pins my hands above my head and leans in close to me. As I focus in on his face my blood began to boil. I lay completely still and gave him the most evil look I could manage. He just smiled back. Him: are you going to scream? I shake my head no. He lets my hands go and takes his hand off my mouth. I punch him square in the jaw. OUCH!! That hurt my hand! He grabs my hands and pins them again Me:YOU! How dare you!! Rubbing his jaw and looking down at me Him: That wasn’t very nice. looking for unhappy married women for satisfying get togethersand more over you are not addressing the issue with the childs father. THis is why I am so oppose to marraige, you people try so hard to cram this idea of "disregard' for men or fathers down everyones throat as if the world embrace your idea that a needs two mommies or two daddies. dont need any step parents. They do however need their mother and their father. Why dont you skip the PC crap and tell me where the father is? dating ad
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