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ca65 looking for a fwb or just tonightIn my divorce we sold a beautiful home in a very nice area. Afterward I bought something in my budget, in a much less area, at a time when the housing market was sky high. It's a house I could afford at the time. There are lots of rental houses around, it's a transitional neighborhood. That sucks, it takes time to find peace with downsizing and living in a not as desirable area. Life goes on, trying to raise my, we took in a dog and cat, etc. We've had neighbors who were really good people, and some that were awful. Some neighborhood often ended up here at my house to play, it seemed like a stable place for them in a time of turmoil at home. Other came over who were new to the area from out of state, and they were glad to have a friend. The bad neighbors are a drag, no kidding, and we are mindful and watchful about them. Some bullied my, and the bi-polar guy next door has flipped out a couple of times at home and cops were ed by his gf. I gave the across the street an old baseball bat because she was concerned about those and other incidents. Over the years I've done some painting, installed a fan, upgraded light fixtures, curtains, planted a lot of shrubs, trees, whatever I want to do. One day this probably be a rental house, or I'll sell it and get something. Maybe one thing I needed to learn is that the house does not define who I am. It's the other way around the house reflects who I am, it look as good or bad as I make it. I'm glad the house was a blessing to who needed some friends. I'm glad for a few good neighbors. Since you are 40 yo then there is a good you'll have another home in the future. In the meantime, it might help for you to think about ways to trick out your house the way you want it to be, make your house a home. Find those good neighbors and have them over for a glass of wine once in awhile. And over time your house feel more like a home. I you find peace with the move and this transition. hairy girl
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care to dine out with me tonight but that is the general treatment for alcoholism in this country. I strongly to the religious basis of it (among other things). I know the British have a system for problem drinkers where the person is awarded "weekly points" that allow, say, one drink per night, or you can skip your nightly drink and have two when you go out with friends. Seems more reasonable to me. BUT people in AA are VERY dedicated, and I think you need to pick your battles one at a time. You could easily alienate him if you try to talk him out of this treatment regimen. AA members do, IMO, become very co-dependent, and I do think it's cultish. I'm not sure you'll get very far with him even if you quote statistics. Bottom line, your bro BELIEVES he is an alcoholic you not succeed in talking him out of that or our of his chosen treatment. I'd advise you to focus on encouraging him to protect himself in the event of divorce. I bet he feels very vulnerable right now and his fellow AAers are his best buddies who he turns to with his troubles. I agree with you, but for your brother's sake, try to remain his friend and don't attack his chosen mode of treatment. I do think you'll alienate him, and he really needs a sane person (you) in his life. Frederick Maryland adult personal ads
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