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I dated someone awhile back who was incredibly turned on by being choked and slapped in the face, and having her hair pulled. I later learned that she was previously beaten by a boyfriend when she tried to leave him he slapped her, dragged her around the room by the hair and, she said, strangled her with the intent to kill her. (Sorry if this is unpleasant, but there a point coming ) (And obviously, she escaped with her life, and fled that f*cker in San, making it up here to SF.) So I wondered why in the world she would want to incorporate those things into sex play? Well, pardon the amateur psycholoanlysis ('I'm not a shrink, but I play one on TV '), but my theory is that she took something terrifying, life-threatening, and processed it by sublimating it into an arousing sexual experience with someone she trusted, in a safe consensual setting. So in fact, this is a broader question about corporal punishment in general for instance, the way it was posed below by whoever said it's more exciting to have spanking (or whatever) administered as 'correction' for specific 'infractions' (with which I whole-heartedly agreee, btw :-). I wonder whether the masochists and subs among us (and I've been on that side in the past) crave punishment and other forms of correction becuase in essence we are seeking either to expiaste some real, deeply-seated guilt, or to process with sexual release some specific frightening or unpleasant event to whatever degree we are or aren't consciously aware of it. So I guess, put another way, if you were hurt or embarassed in the past and it was NOT YOUR FAULT you can 'own' it and take back control over it by processing iit with a lover under negotiated conditions. Get it? So in that light, maybe the question is, does the sub's for punishment, correction, etc., stem from something bad done to her/him, which was out of her/his control, and and a need to possess it take it back, in a sense by reprocessing it in a setting in which she/he is surrendering control? And if so, isn't that a fascinating paradox? :-) ~Z. seeking friend gym buddy
It is not important whether you are right or some of the others are right about her feelings and intent. The only way that can be resolved is to get inside her head. The red is the lack of communication that seems to exist between the two of you in an almost year LTR. You can say what you like to me but you can not deny the facts. One of the foundations of a strong relationship is communications. Even if you two get back together, if this is not resolved this just happen again and again until resentment sets which most couples never recover from -stories become exaggerated. I am not pointing to blame because there is none to give. The communication problem stem with her or you or the both of you by the way you handle stressful situations. Some close up some run away and other become verbally or more none of them any good because of misunderstandings run rampant. Even if you believe you both have a great communications (fooling yourselves!), one of the only reasons someone not be talking is that they are considering opting out of the relationship it says there are problems in your relationship that can not be changed without communications. Your talking about change tells me that is a point of contention here. Not saying you are the problem or not the problem or that her expectations be unrealistic .but these are areas that need to be discussed and agreements must be followed with an accountability set up. If you two can not abide by this without resentment of unfairness then you two have a. If these feelings do come up you two must have a way to communicate this without hurt feelings being developed. There is so much more to this that some serious reading is ed for. You both have to have the trust (another foundation) to feel you can say anything to your partner without fear. What others think when they think of trust is not the trust I am speaking of. Active listening is also lacking, the other side of the coin of communication! horney women EspooThey are opposed to fundamentalist Christians in this country dictating policies regarding personal freedoms like abortion and stem cell research, but when it comes to opposing fundamentalist then the US is meddling in foreign affairs. We are hated in the Mideast because we are the world champions for religious and personal freedom, the rules want to restrict the freedom of their subjects for their own personal gain, talk about income gaps between ruling class and poor take a look a poor. uniform dating
m lqqkn 4 mothers milk anr abf meeting When two Libras come together in a affair, they form one of the most agreeable, romantic and well-balanced relationships around. and aesthetics are of utmost importance to Libra; two Libras together bring their magiy balanced and beautiful touch to everything they do together. Libra is the Sign of Partnership; Libra loves to be in, and two together spells relationship bliss. If they're just dating, they spend their time at romantic and coffee houses; if they're cohabiting, their house looks like an gallery, full of the finest and loveliest of everything. Libra wants everyone to them sometimes to a fault. They abhor conflict, and if one arises they're apt to back down just to maintain the peace. It's not that they're insincere or that they don't care, it's that conflict makes them extremely uncomfortable. The Libra-Libra duo understands this about one another and it's rare that either one push the other to compromise their shared sensibilities. Libra is most balanced while in a relationship, and each of them having someone to admire and dote upon. They're happiest when they have someone with similar interests with whom to share their experiences. Libra is ruled by the Planet (-). Two Libras together share a blissful, romantic relationship full of beauty, sensuality and utter pleasure. It's no wonder the two stay together! They spoil themselves and one another sometimes to a fault. Too foods and too much laziness can be bad for their health. Those are pleasures that prove hard to resist; both enjoy reclining and munching on a stem of grapes like the Greek goddess herself! Libra is an Air Sign. They prize their mental abilities almost above all -; they enjoy intellectualism and appreciate, films and all sorts of cultural pursuits. Persuasive, courteous and diplomatic, Libras are the fair judges of the world. Two together can use their diplomacy to smooth over almost any potential conflict with honor and decency. Libra is a Cardinal Sign, a quality that allows them to initiate new projects and motivate others. Two Libras can work very well together toward any project they set their mind to. What's the best aspect of the Libra-Libra relationship? Their incredible sense of diplomacy, kindness and shared respect for one another. 69533 iowa swingers
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