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Wow .I remember some amazing things deaths, including in my own family my mom GLOWED for hours after she passed! your mom left ON HER BIRTHDAY. Lots of unusual, beautiful occurances having to do with our spiritual nature, happens in this special 'etheral space' of taking leave, here Mystical, magical stuff There's no doubt that the suffering of others evokes our own unfinished business, and I'm tellin' ya, I'm up to it! I'm practiced at having a mental framework for which to handle it, including activities that give me a balance: yard work and writing. Speaking of dramatics, I've suffered a LOT in my life a *LOT* and I can bear the suffering of those who're dying except for those who have always had superiorly nasty dispositions! I'm not up for a lot of that. I want people who know the value of living and dying in the center, the heart. Of course, we all have our moments .I'd choose 'em carefully. Very carefully. OK, hon take care good 'talkin' to ya! Big. horny wife WiesbadenThere are a number of issues here, so right off the bat you need to sort them out one at a time and don't let them cloud over each other, creating a miasma of gunk that nobody could figure out. Each issue has to be carefully and lovingly and firmly dealt with. The brother in law is being very insensitive, but he can't be expected to have the same or tolerance of your father as you do; still, if you are forced to choose between the in-laws and your dad, you must face this squarely and make your choice, and not look back. Your father's hygeine is a troubling problem on levels. I think you need to do whatever you can to steer him into the tub. He be old and cranky, but you can't pretend he's as fresh as a flower when he isn't. The bigger issue is his health; infections and sores can develop from not washing, and at his age that could be a real problem. It would be better to risk hurting his feelings than to him hospitalized for skin ulcers that sap his health and are totally preventable. Hurting Dad's feelings seems to be a big theme in all the relationships. I think his feelings should be respected, but that doesn't give him the right to manipulate other people. There really is a balance between honesty and. Sometimes, it's gracious and respectful to be honest! "Dad, I'm going to be honest with you because I respect you." sometimes creates boundaries. Not that he won't be loved if he doesn't comply with your requests (although he fear this), but you him so much, you make some boundaries within which the family can get along better, Dad can be healthier, and holidays can be merrier. Getting him a hearing aid is a boundary that makes good sense, as does requiring him to bathe, wear clean clothes, and do other things that demonstrate his for you. It's not just a one-way street you know. Maybe it was in the past, but now your must be mutually respectful and honest. Doesn't he deserve that? don't you? woman rimming man
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