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Your spouse has to WANT to stop. The key is their inner motivation, their. An ultimatum imposes rules from the outside; it does nothing to address the lack of motivation on the inside. Bottom line: although giving an ultimatum feels good, it misses your target. Your target is your spouse's inner motivation. And how do you affect someone's inner motivation? The secret is to CONNECT with them. Let me explain. Life begins as a connected experience in the womb of our mother. When we're born and that physical connection is severed, we yearn to connect again. How we go about creating that connection and how well we succeed becomes the story of our life. People who make and meaningful connections with other people feel happy and fulfilled. (Research proves that the single most important factor that determines happiness in life is CONNECTEDNESS.) People who lack a real emotional connection with others grasp at anything in an attempt to fill that void in their life. That's what leads people to sex, alcohol, hours of mindless TV, falling in over and over again with new people, or an obsessive commitment to money, success, work, or a hobby. These trappings offer a MOMENTARY filling. But the cause of the emptiness your spouse seeks to fill is a lack of a meaningful CONNECTION in their life. When you create that connection with your spouse, you accomplish two profound things. First, you eliminate your spouse's for their destructive behavior. You take the wind right out of its sail. You cut it off at its source. They don't need it anymore. There's no more hole to fill. YOU filled it! Second, you offer your spouse a permanent filling for a hole that's been insatiable probably since their childhood. (Your spouse's destructive behaviors can probably be traced back to a disconnected relationship they had with their mother or father). And their for your connection, a REAL and LASTING filling of that hole, trump any momentary interest in seductive pleasures. So how do you get your spouse to stop their destructive behavior? You create a connection with them. Now here's the kicker. The chances are very good that YOU have no clue how to deeply CONNECT with your spouse. Camrose meet sex no registrationI think the two types of charters you are mentioning are two types of audiences. (Though like cv said, I would cross both sides of that. This was the best vacation I ever had: 8 days/7 nights I notice the stops are a bit different now but the stops were villages and starting point for hikes into tinier villages or good views or historical spots. It was much more of the crew doing it for us but it was by no means stop and go shopping like the big cruises. 10 cabins total. We ported (is that the word?) in a different village port every night and sailed off in the am to the next destination. A few times we stopped in random coves mid day to leap off into the water for a swim before ouzo filled afternoon sails. The crew partied every night with us in little open air restaurants, the crew provided breakfast on the boat before setting sail and it had a honor bar. How freaking cool is THAT? At that time it was about $ each person 2 person cabins with your own "shower" (I could sit on the toilet and "shower" at the same time if I wanted. :) including tours and breakfast everyday. Lunch was available for extra cost. They threw in extras now and again such as a bottle of ouzo and plate of cheese and olives for the afternoon snacktime. You even want to check in with the company as they have tours in the US. We had a tour guide on the boat with us who took us on (optional) hikes at every port, told us the best places to eat or shop, historical and natural sites nearby, etc. That's all beside your point I guess, but the more research the better for your adventure. Anyhow, I think you would be safer in a bigger boat and far more comfortable. I don't heat a "creature comfort" I it a necessity! I would think a shower is a HUGE difference when trying to charter. I would want access to a shower for sure if it was overnight. If you can charter the bigger boat, then could that pay for the extra payments? An 84 yo wow! Then I guess it cannot be too hard to handle. Sounds like it has good juju. Follow your "dream"! chat dating
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