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I am sensing that we are being used to beef up a marital disagreement, but we're only getting one side of the argument. :-) If the spouse or SO has a history of putting their family second to whatever comes along, then a gentle discussion of how you feel when you keep coming in second all the time might be in order. They probably don't even realize they are doing it. They be chroniy disorganized and not realize how their lack of attention to detail is grating on your last nerve. In these cases, it boils down to you deciding what hill you want to die on. You're not going to turn them into a little clock-watcher. Agree on those times when you are MOST annoyed that they are late or forgetful., for dinner, shopping, etc. and then learn to chill with the rest. Priorities are fluid that's why they are priorities, and not set-in-stone laws. Priorities shuffle in response to the needs of those around us. I personally would put my outside family waaaay ahead of cleaning the toilets in my house but then again, my outside family doesn't make demands on me, but when they do, I drop everything. For example, for the last 18 months, my father was in deteriorating health, and for my own peace of mind and to help my mother and brother, I was making a 1, mile round trip every month to help with his care. Things at home slipped. So what? Do you think I really gave a damn if the dog hair sat on the rug an extra week? My father was dying, and my husband sure didn't expect me to stay at home and fix his dinner when I was needed elsewhere. That's part of being part of a family and being part of a community. A good marriage/partnership lifts you up to be able to meet those needs. Another good example is that of a partner who might choose public service for a career, either as a doctor, nurse, policeman, fireman, or even as an elected official. Sometimes the job must take priority, because other people are counting on you. If your spouse was a nurse, would you expect them to walk away from an ill patient just to make sure your dinner didn't wait? fuck old women Colonial HeightsI'll tell ya about my first wife. We were she 18, me 21 and my best friend was her fiancee he had been off to Northwestern doing pre-med in 3 years with honors and my girlfriend made up our HIGH SCHOOL FOURSOME DAYS (no sex if that's what you're thinking this is Deep South in the 50s). Well, I was feelin' melancholy with the old gang breakin' up, and took his fiancee down to the beach about one week before he was to get home, and two weeks before they were to get married. Invitations out. Apartment already rented for their return to school in the fall. His career would be medicine, hers would be education. Well, one thing lead to the next till I found ma self in bed with her (beach cottage) and it's dark outside = total loss of time = her parents fit to be tied. We had not fucked, but from out of the blue I said, "I you," Well, I figured the whole thing would blow over, no one would ever find out, and she would get married in two weeks. Got a phone from her, "What are we gonna do?" I brushed off the answer and told her I was gonna retreat back to the beach cottage for a few days. I did. Sat on the beach and drank a case of cheap beer every day, for almost a week then one sunset I suddenly stood up and threw the bottle way out into the water, tossed the case of empties in the back of ma car, and zipped back into town (50 away). I sat in the car on top of a hill overlooking her house at 10pm ma best friend brought her home didn't stay as as he left I quietly drifted down the hill and into her driveway. We sat on the sofa while her mother ranted and raved up and down the living room then made a fatal mistake = she went to bed. In ma best I said, "I came in to get you tonight, or go back to the cottage for the?" Her answer was, "Come back at 2am. I'll be packed and waiting on the balcony." I went back at 3am and there she was with birth certificate, a footlocker, and suitcase. We did a balcony departure, and I had to leave that case of empty beer bottles in the driveway. Her mom had the cops in 7 states lookin' for us!!! Whata hoot. That marriage lasted 25 years and netted 6. divorce dating
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