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looking for long term babygirl status always have had a problem with being assertive. During dating he found out he could push me and I wouldn't push back. I basiy married my dad. I was afraid of this, and I still am to an extent, for most of our ten year marriage. I was raised with little conflict and my DH was raised being able to argue with his parents. I didn't learn that is was safe to express my opinion, be angry or argue. My husband is kind of scary. He an introverted engineer and can argue circles around me and people. He's so sensitive and touchy that people learn quickly to walk on eggshells around him. I have become MUCH more assertive in the past year and surprisingly, he's backed off quite a bit. He still has the ability to manipulate me and tonight I apologized if I upset him and cringed that I did that. It was on the phone and I felt that old urge to get the connection back. How can this be fixed? I guess, like with the arguing, I have to stop the bulldozing in its tracks, simply refuse it. He seems to thrive in conflict, he even bring up extremely sensitive subjects right in the middle of sex! I simply refuse to even discuss it now or say we can stop and go talk about it outside of bed. So, I guess I am doing much of what I need to be doing, most of the time. It's hard for me because my nature is to be cooperative. I like and getting along. In order to be my own person in this marriage, I have to be willing to fight for my rights, defend myself, stand up to him and win the power struggles by refusing to bend to his. It's stressful. I imagine it's a lot like having a with oppositional defiance disorder. I am guessing that my husband bring the topic up when he's back home. On some level he knows about his issues but he defensively blames everything on others. So this be about me taking an opportunistic jab, not that he actually might have something he should take a look at. My plan is to simply say I realize that have not been the appropriate time to bring that up and not cave. caucasian man for asian woman
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One of the sacrifices that be necessary is that you actually lose this relationship to get rid of these tendencies., you're in the middle of a relationship so here you are doing some balancing act. Working on an issue you have and trying to maintain for the sake of the relationship. That is a lot for most people and in my experience so take it for what it's worth most people fail. When people get serious about fixing issues they make it THE priority, the other things in life take more of a back seat. That includes relationships. I'm not telling you to break it off but to make this VERY important and be determined that you want to feel very comfortable with yourself before moving this relationship father forward. Get rid of the confusion so you'll know what's what. Rock on good luck and you get it done. naked massage Cora
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