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going thru a very tough time, just need to vent/get things off my chest. i've reached bottom. my husband i've been going thru a rough time 4 the last yr. (been together for almost 16yr/married for 18 mos. known each other since we were 15). we tried talking/working it out. been thru it all together. i've tried to be on his it thru his eyes. i my hub w/all my heartsoul, so affection/-, encouragement/praise were easily shown by me. i always felt so at least. he begs to differ. i cooked, cleaned, laundry, take care of our, yardwork, run errands for him, literally serve him food/drink when asked. he claims differently; "i wasn't there 4him. i was mean/horrible person" i'd ask him 2 help out w/our daughter (dr appt, lunches, make sure she got asthma meds)4example. ask him 2spend time w/us insted of being on the comp for 15 hrs/day on his off days, go w/us 2 fam functions. when i'd ask ask, nothing wld happn i'd get mad (is that wrong? 2expect help? a lil fam time f/my husband?) so i'd say "WTF?! can i get a lil damn help? can you spend a lil time w/us" he'd get mad, arguments would ensue, we'd end up saying mean things 2 each other that caused a lot of hurt (bitch,horrible wife,shitty person. i'd say similar things too; "lazy, get off your ass, take a lil interest on our kid). there were also times we'd be in each others face arguing, he shove me away, i'd end up doing the same. so yea, we'd put hands on each other. i'd walk 2 another room, he'd follow, vice versa. never felt like he would take initiative. so i guess my asking, became nagging, which turned into bitchiness b/c i was tired of feeling overwhelmed him not doing anything (or so i felt like). so i guess my hub basiy came 2 dis-like me, say i'm a mean/horrible woman, i harass him continually, that i've him, squashed his feelings, kept him f/being a dad now he's finished w/our marriage. i've driven him 2 feel this way about me. "single handedly ruined our lives, i've told u what u cld do to fix this, u just don't give a shit". he's "sailing his own boat w/o my mean abusive ass". i'm having a really hard time dealing. 2wks ago he was saying he loves me, happy abt our due in 6wks, loves our family. now he wants no part in it. "i'll be there 4 my. but u, i don't give a shit about". that hurts so much. my hearts breaking Am i wrong? horney mature in DomciceThat's disparagement, hands down. Unfortunately you have to have a chat with him and say something like, "I know you think I'm a skank, but when you tell the that they internalize it and think they're half skank. And then they think they're dad's a skank-fucker. Do you want to be known as a skank fucker because that's what you're setting yourself up for". Lol I said that to my ex in private and it worked like a charm but yours need a little softening to make it work for you. Okay well so don't put it exactly that way. If they're in school it behoove you to encourage the to their counselor, make a family meeting, and sort this all out. Also look in your decree and if there's a no-disparagement clause signed by the judge. While you can no longer have a say in how he feels about you, it's wrong to put that on the kiddos. female seeking females
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