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It's that I've been spending so much less time w/*all* of my so-ed friends as well as my real friends, and *everything* is getting clearer. It has nothing to do with my financial status whatsoever. I have chosen to be a hermit now for about 6 mos. Turning my whole ship around for awhile. I simply can't tolerate any *bullshit* anymore. The only reason why I posted the money issue, is that the person I had the 'misunderstanding' with has always been thoroughly money-focused. We can be having tea, and she'll start in with her investments, her famous 'friend', etc. The other pair of 'friends' have their own schtick, but still, money-focused as well just Bohemian style, so it appears 'cool'. It STINKS OUT LOUD. And worst of all: it screwed their up seriously (both sets of friends' -). Hence: the money post. During my walk, I realized that it's really the same old story, but I just refuse to put up with it anymore at all. I'm growing up in the realest sense. It goes back to when I had my divorce years ago, and chose to be w/family folks only. The folks I befriended gave me the closest thing to the cozy feeling I craved but with a price: that I serve a purpose for them as well fill a hole a need play a role doing little favors like babysitting and trapseing around with them on *their terms*! I'm cutting all that out now, and facing facts. My values and principles are not the same and never were. Rather than suffer alone, I clung to them in large part, because it the hell out of me having single men interested in me. My 'friends' were a protection .At least I refrained from diving into a string of men-folk, marriages, etc. I'm proud of myself now. This all requires grieving, but hey, it feels good to cry and gain my freedom from their clutches .I played, 'In the early morning rain' (- -) several times on my guitar before,sobbed my guts out, and put a in for my brother. And this forum has been a great way to process stuff for me. To observe myself. Hell, everything goes out into oblivion, but it helps me. Other peoples posts help me also! And I'm undeterred by the morons, who unprovoked, post things that they think hurt others. morning pussy is wetI have just discovered internet radio, attached speakers to my office computer and now my office is swinging to the tunes of the big bands when it isn't playing classical guitar. It's part of my ongoing search for some method of making my job less stressful that does not involve overconsumption of snack food. divorced singles
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rested, alive and happy. for good reason, other than just living in the moment. I the feel of washed sheets, on my bed, the smell of clean clothes in my closet. when i finally bed down for the night, how wonderful the bed feels, i always think " can it get any better than this?" the view i get from my apartment, of the city skyline. walking into a comic book store and smells there. when i finally pick up my guitar and strum it out!! the fond memory of a kiss, or embrace; the gratitude of that having happened ever. watching, darth vader, getting his ass kicked in Return of the Jedi, and Darth Vader, turning back to the good side. eating salad with my fingers. hearing I you from my family, even though, i put them though hell for years. (thats a blessing!!) married hispanic looking for sexy black woman webcam sex in Nakashima
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