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insert 40822 naughty wifes here for you to offer input with your fiancee when he asks. That is your place to offer him an ear and advice when asked. However, he should never be letting his ex know that the "two of you have decided" anything. As far as she is concerned, the decision, whatever it be, was his because you really have no place in any decision that involves their. She be angry at that and judges really do not like step-parents overstepping their bounds, and you don't even hold that position yet. You are in a very difficult spot, but the quicker you get used to your place, the easier it be on you. This is what you signed up for, even if it is kinda sucky. is there love and romance still out there
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