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endless search for love is supposed to include oneself, yet humans tend to put themselves out of the running for the generosity and kindness they can so readily offer others. I'm working on it. It isn't always easy to be nice to me. It's less of a struggle than it once was, and I it eventually become my default response. At the moment, it takes practice and conscious application. I came around to this idea when I realized a few months ago that as my daughter approached adulthood, and began to make some of the mistakes I often make, that I was able to comfort and support her easily and have no sense that these stumbles made her stupid or lazy or weak; all things I say to myself about my own errors. My parents were either disinclined or unable to offer me the kind of support and I extend my daughter with and satisfaction. I wondered, then, if the answer wasn't to try and myself the way I her. To parent me with the same structure and tenderness I have applied to her upbringing. I think this shift has had more to do with the progress I've made recently than almost any other single decision. As an overarching approach to taking care of myself, it also leads me to make better choices than I would if I was just barreling through without the lens of "How would I do this if it was Hodie*?" So yeah. I'm learning to try and take my own advice more to heart. And, yes; I spend a fair amount of time alone, but I have good friends, and an excellent support system me. And, sharing my perspective with others not only makes me feel like I might be able to offer some meaningful insight, it also helps me process my own thoughts and feelings in a way that's very therapeutic. So, thank you all for YOUR perspectives. I derive great value from my time here. *My daughter has an ALIAS! How cool is that?
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