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The thing about D/s is (and I think DG touched on this) is that you can be creative in the way you manifest your own special brand of power exchange. It's YOUR D/s relationship, so you and your husband dictate what you guys do. It's of no consequence to you guys how it's viewed by others, or if it's "real" or "true" or any other bullshit little concepts people around you throw out. (And you meet those people: the "true" Dominant/sub types, who think D/s is only one way-usually theirs. Those people are to be avoided, because they attempt to sabotage and make you feel inferior for their own ego's nourishment.) Start small. Talk about any and everything as it comes along. Talk about how you'd like to act in public. Example: Would he want you to walk a stride or two behind him? Would he want you to sit on one side of him specifiy? Would he want to do all the talking in certain social situations? Would you wear any tokens of ownership like a collar or a bracelet? Would you tell other people? Talk about what you'd do at home. Example: Would certain chores be yours alone? And would he inspect the work? If so, to what level does he want? Would you refer to him by a title or continue to use his name? Would there be decisions you can make without his input, or does he want to know exactly what's going on anytime he asks? Would there be certain things he would want done daily? (Example: Upon arrival home from work, would he want dinner out or at least in progress ? Would he want something to drink? His leisure clothes laid out in advance? Take your daily routine and start imagining how you can shape and retool it to include D/s. I think you'll be quite pleased with the process, let alone the results. Hayward women need cockNever, Never, Never, NEVER GIVE UP! Just because some people don't want to be around you does not mean you are bad. I don't know you, but I'll bet it's THEIR loss. Relationships? Different people get into, or decide not to get into, relationships at different rates. When I realized that my ex had taken YEARS from me, I made a decision not to give her any more by letting her have my feelings. It was very liberating. You can do it too. Not preaching here, but there is a Scripture that says, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and they that it eat the fruit thereof." I take that to mean that what we say affects how we are. It is hard to be positive when all around us looks negative. Just remember, the negative is AROUND you. The negative is NOT YOU? We all have "tapes" that we play in our heads. Mine used to be very negative self-image tapes. One day, I decided to change the mental tape, and I began saying positive things about myself. It was hard. It took effort at first, but eventually the "positive tapes" began to come as naturally as the "negative tapes" had. My friend, YOU CAN DO IT!!! Is depression real? Absolutely. Is it tough to deal with. Often the answer is yes. Can you beat it? Without a doubt. I wouldn't tell you to "just get better" any more than I would say that to a person with a broken arm. They are both medical conditions. If you had a broken arm, it might slow you down, but you would not let it stop you. The tough thing about depression is that it affects the very that you need to use to fight it. (Ugh) rich mature women
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