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advice m4w I have been married for 12 years and I am clearly at a crossroads. About a year into may marriage I was out at a work function and a coworker (woman maybe 30 at the time) was talking about how after 6 years of marriage the spark was gone. She said she still loved her husband but the sexual energy was missing. Another slightly older male coworker agreed with her.
I now fund myself in this situation. Granted we have sex maybe 1 or 2 times a month. I do my part with the marriage and the kids. I am the one who does the cooking as well as the exterior house work and some other inside work. I work full time. That being said I have tried every way to spice things up. Before I go further I do compliment her with no interest in getting something in return. Ok, back to the spice part..I have tried renting steamy movies, buying butually "pleasing" toys, tried new things in the bed. They have ALL been shot down. Occasionally she opens up a little like she is doing me a favor or, as she says, "I am trying see".
So I amdit that I am very frustrated in my marriage from a sex standpoint. I love my wife and my life but I need more from her and she is unwilling or incapable of giving me what I want. I give her everything she needs and wants. I ask her if I am unsure so I know ALL her needs are met.
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Anything you possibly ever could need from me I had the strenght of character to give you that.
Afraid of "shadows" (whatever fears that might mean!) yours and others' as sad as it is, I know it's true. Nothing I could ever do to change that.
And recognizing you never really tried priceless. With this all said, nothing else never ever needs to be said by you anymore.
Thank you for sincerity, if for nothing else.
It's just so sad that it took you so long to see these truths within yourself; and even sadder all this pain you caused on the process..to those for whom it mattered.
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