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right person yet. You are freshly divorced (is your divorce final?) so it be a little early to find a relationship. BUT, I am not going to say that nobody should have a relationship when they are freshly divorced. of the regulars here tell you that you should give it a year or more. Anyway, I tell you that after my last term relationship of 5 years ended, I didn't date anyone for about 5 months. After that, I went on about 50 first dates with different men. I had so experiences. The guy whose wife left him after 20 years when she reconnected with an old flame on and he spent the entire night talking about how much she hurt him. At one point, I thought he was going to start crying. The guy I met online who was absolutely hilarious and sent me pictures of himself (he described himself as "built like a linebacker" and his pictures backed that up. Unfortunately, those pictures weren't very current because when we met, he weighed no less than pounds. He had told me how he enjoyed outdoor activities like hiking but he was red faced and sweating from walking across the parking lot. Please don't think I hated him because he was fat because that's not the case. I was turned off at the fact that he had deceived me and he wasn't honest about who he was as a person. Then there was restaurant manager guy who was a blast, although we went out for cocktails on our first date and he did drink me under the table. I had a lot of fun with him, he kept me laughing and the conversation was really comfortable for about 5 dates. Things started getting serious, then he told me that he was bisexual and enjoyed cross-dressing. Well, unfortunately, I didn't share those hobbies so we parted ways. Then there was the guy who asked me out for dinner, we met at the bar, had a cocktail then he confessed that he only had $20 on him. I was cool and suggested we just go dutch and take the time to get to know one another. I thought he was maybe testing me to if I'd wig out that he didn't have money. Apparently my response was appropriate because he tried to invite himself back to my place for "dessert". i want to have fun tooMy ex came to get the girls. I had cooked a simple dinner so that their drive home would be more pleasant. We sat at the table for 3 hours. Just talking, cracking jokes, listenening to the girls talk. Telling jokes, talking about life,flirting. I now realize why I am not relationship material. I am not divorced. I have been lying to myself for years, telling myself I was single. The truth is everything I do, I consider his feelings, his needs, his wants, the effect on the, the effect on everyuone but me. I am still married, no matter what I tell myself. It is all a lie, to make me feel better about the fact that we don't live together, but in my heart and soul we are still married. Ahhh It was an amazing evening, I felt so happy and safe. To bad I know it is only good for a few hours a month, then we go back to the bickering hate, my inability to forgive his inability to get sober. So much water under thye bridge that there is no way to return to the one in my life I know I forever. insider internet dating
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