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I'm newly married. Hubby recently lost his job and is now working but making significantly less than he was when we met, were dating, moved in together, etc. This has left us in a position where I earn more than he does. I am not bothered by this in the least. We are not really hurt by the reduction of income. That is to say, we are still able to pay all our bills, on time, and feed ourselves and keep up with the mortgage. Neither of us are excessive spenders and I'd say we are both responsible with money. We have a joint checking and savings account. Hubby is struggling with the fact that he makes less than I do. He's been depressed and doesn't want to go out anywhere or spend money on things for himself, even things he needs like a new pair of jeans or a t-shirt. In his line of work he doesn't need fancy clothes but I do have to dress up a bit for work so I have to spend some money from time to time on clothes. I've cut back on a few of the "extras" for myself no bi-weekly pedicures, color my own hair, take lunch a few times a week instead of going out. All of these things are making hubby really depressed and feels that he's to blame for our "financial problems". I feel our situation is perfectly OK. I don't have resentment for any of that stuff, but I do find myself becoming annoyed with his constantly being sad about this. I wish that I could make him feel as OK with the situation as I am and I wish that he would feel that he is as entitled to buy/do things for himself as I am. panty boy looking for fun girlWe've had marriage problems for 2 years, and he's been blaming them all on me. His reasons didn't have any basis in reality. He was deeply in debt from a prior marriage that had ended a year before we met. I had an inheritance that greatly improved the quality of his life. After his retirement from the Navy after 30 years, I started to notice a difference in how he acted towards me, leading to him writing me a "dear 'heartbrokenwife" letter, blaming me for how unhappy he was with our marriage. None of his reasons were true, so for almost 3 weeks we talked about "my problems". Then on a he went to play golf and when he came home I noticed his golf towel was clean, something that had never happened in all the years I'd known him so I got really suspicious. After he went to bed I got on his laptop and he hadn't changed his password in the 10 years since I'd last used one of his computers and I found over with women AND men. I forwarded them all to my account, staying up all night to do it, and then deleted his entire mailbox. I tried to fix this marriage because I truly believed the in sickness and in health, for better or worst, for richer or poorer vows. I have been investigating with the help of friends and professionals, in order to protect my assets and investments in this house. But the most devastating blow came this week when we discoved he'd been on several bi/- hook up sites soliciting sex with men all over NE for over 6 years with aliases. He was careless online and didn't cover his tracks. finders quickly located him. I am done with him now, the therapists ALL think he's a magligent narsissist which can't be cured. I have a good expensive lawyer, considered one of the best in Jacksonville and he says I do very well in the divorce but I'm still worried cause you never know with a judge. We are not mediating even though we do have to attend a mediation. He has no negative actions on my part to use against me. I guess I just wonder if anyone has found themselves in this position and how did you handle it. Any recommendations. And for you people who feel better when you put someone down, keep in mind that I would have to have an iota of respect for you before anything you said mattered. single mom dating
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