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Imagine the most horrible thing that has ever happened to you in your life happening to you again. I believe that I have some form of post-traumatic stress disorder. I spent most of my 20s just casually dating, with only a couple of short-term boyfriends. They seemed nice, but they were addicts. Probably a lot of what I saw as "nice" was them in an altered state. I was 28 when I met the last guy. We met online. He was younger than I was and I was attracted to his youthful optimism. When I said I was afraid to get serious with a younger guy (or any guy) he said "sooner or later, something's gotta work out." I was "betting on potential." He was bright and seemed mature, so I figured he just needed a new start. I told him he didn't belong in Memphis because his mindset was more like that of a Californian. After we'd known each other for several months, He impulsively bought a one-way ticket to California. Being the caregiving codependent whatever it is, I assumed he just needed someone to show him how to accomplish his goals. I didn't realize his goal, to the extent he had one, was to just out and mooch off of me. A few months after he moved here I experienced the first of what would be back injuries. I was also diagnosed with a chronic health condition that mimics a tumor. I was unable to walk, my vision became impaired and I developed chronic nerve pain. This guy literally had to tie my shoes for me and physiy prop me up if I needed to walk 10 feet. I became extremely dependent on him. I needed him to be my arms and legs. Eventually I did regain the ability to walk but I still have damaged vision and nerve pain and can't lift anything. I can't do things like take out the trash or groceries. My ability to drive is limited because I have very poor depth perception. Although he never acknowledge it, I believe he basiy took advantage of my poor health. He saw it as a key to do whatever he pleased, provided he cooked, drove and lifted heavy objects. He wore his mask of "perfect guy" for years. It was happenstance that I discovered a lot of things about him that he hid from me. So that's the bottom line. I'm too trusting of "nice" people because I can't comprehend evil. lady sex Newport News
1. "Black Elk Speaks. " I like the story in there, that he describes, about how the "pipe" first came to be part of tradtion to the Native Americans. I loved that book and read it over and over. 2. "mask" with. I just watched it over the weekend and noticed that the, "Ripple," is playing the day he died. Its a perfect scene, great music. Also, " Boeheum Rapsody," Japolin's "ball and chain," tons of songs, get me going. 3. my red converse chucks. 4. looking to talk to a mistress about my fetishesany regret, but I think living while recognizing that you do not want them, changes some of your decisions. Or it changes mine, at least. I know I am braver now since adopting that unattainable goal. I weigh every decision now whereas before I "floated" through life thinking it would be endless. I lived life through a mask and allowed very few to the real me once upon a time. It is stifling I would not wish it on anyone! However, it was a coping mechanism that allowed me to function. Without it, I would have crumbled so it did serve a purpose! Thankfully, I no longer need the mask! mobile chat
chat with horney girls online black bbw 4 white male I remember some turn-ons from babyhood which I'm thinking have shaped some kinks. One of them is the memory of seeing a very hot blonde nurse, and I'm not sure where, when, or who. The second I re is gentle female hands (I don't remember who) moving amongst genitals and butt. During my 14 years of Catholic schooling (where were taught of how sex leads to STDs, and that we should wait til marriage. After seeing some sexy nurse manga on skateboards, I started masturbating to the thought of a compassionate sexy nurse turning my physiy into a. All this time there are females who I am related to in numerous career fields. Then once when I had my braces tightened, an assistant leaned over my head with her breasts against my face and it felt so nice. In high school there were a few occasions where I was really flattered and sometimes turned on (a girl handing me her number, getting circled by some girls at a dance moved in on me and started fondling me as they danced, and a college fair rep writing her apt number on her business card), but I was too nervous to move forward. I had a gf for a year but we only went as far as two French kisses. As I started in college, I started missing hints using slang. A girl telling me to "eat her box" and a girl telling me what my having a tongue (which came up as I ate passion fruit) is really good for. The rest of college came and past. A few years after college, I had to have surgery for one of my two inguinal hernias. I woke up to find two attractive middle-aged female nurses watching over me. AS I law there waking up with the mask on, just taking in what's around me, one came buy and complimented my blue eyes. They fed me muffins and juice, and while it was probably part of their job I was turned on by being in their gentle care. Since then I've read about what sex with a woman is like and am curios about experiencing it with a woman. It might partially me my virginal perspective, but It seems nice to give a woman oral sex and take experience her in my senses, through sight, taste, touch, smell, and sound. free Normal personals
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