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professional seeking something different and you need to stop now. You asked for some advice and as someone who has dealt with elderly care I'm going to speak up. You're not coming from a good place here and I more trouble and resistance ahead. You want him to things YOUR way and everyone KNOWS what's best for him. There's a real aspect here where everyone is acting like they are assigned to care for this regardless of his own wishes. 'you want help from us sell the house, move closer and we can step up.' Where's the focus for him to STAY? Stay where he wants to be? How can that work? You're focus is showing him how it CAN'T. The guy should have had life alert, a schedule where people check on him, perhaps based with the friends he trusts and who WANT the job. Out of all the people you mentioned, there is your resource to turn to. The support group who's there because they want to be, not out of some blood or relation obligation. Moving to PA is an OPTION for him, a safety net IF HE WANTS IT. And if he doesn't it's not a refusal of YOU. He's earned the right to live and die in a place of his choosing even if that means he ends up in indigent care. What ever you do drop the plans about selling shit off and quit talking to others about how it should be done. don't another option for rehab doesn't work out 'just to show him'. How about you look for one that -!!. Poet go talk to a pro. Get with a therapist who deals with these cases. The wants control over his life, he NEEDS it. Look for ways for him to keep it. I'll tell you right now that I'm not the one to tell you what those steps are to take. Get with someone who can understand ALL the dynamics and offer some assistance. You want him to make a decision that says 'I'm moving to PA to be around those who me' he needs to feel it's HIS choice. He needs an advocate. Please, don't insert your view of what he should be wanting to do and if he wants something if it can be done before trying to block those efforts. he away wanting to play
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