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you asked me to join u an boyfriend whether you married into it or whether by blood. Making a committment to have "nothing to do with your wife's cousin" shouldn't be the approach. This really solves nothing except causing a rip in the family structure. Both you and your wife are missing the bigger picture. The bigger picture should be, what are you doing that is causing your wife to suspect there is more? I asked you this earlier, but you never responded. I guess you'll have to answer those questions for yourself. Have you done things, behind your wife's back, disclosing information, etc., that your wife would view as deceptive? It can be something as big as meeting with the cousin and neither of you telling your wife (purposely hiding it), or not putting a stop to unwanted advances by the cousin. If so, YOU need to change your actions. YOU need to set some boundaries. YOU need to stop behaving in a way that disrespects your wife. You also need to realize that, if she is jealous of the attention or actions, maybe she DOES need/want more from you? You say she gets all the attention she needs, but that is how YOU feel. Have you asked her how SHE feels? Maybe your ideas of "adequate attention" and her ideas are completely different? IF you are not doing anything wrong, IF you can answer those questions and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have done nothing to provoke or escalate the situation, and you have made it clear the advances are unwelcome, then it's time for you AND your wife to sit the cousin down and set boundaries. If the cousin can't respect them THAT is the time to put the wedge in the family structure.
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